The Hardest Parts of Loving a Transsexual Woman
Loving a transsexual female is not without challenges. We’re often a “moving target” in more ways than one.
Following are common issues our partners might face:
We’re Not Done Evolving in our Gender Transition
Where we’re at in our gender transition can create challenges for loving partners. Transition - by definition: is a state of change. Thus, its fair to question if you’ll still adore us after we’re done evolving into our new gender.
Some transgender women discover their sexual / relationship orientation evolves and changes in this process. Some transgender women evolve to needing and wanting a union with a man: they find female-female love connections too competitive. Likewise, I’ve also seen girls go from dating men and switch to women after completing transition. “My natural orientation was always women,” says Melissa, a 52-year old TS woman. “However, during the earlier phases of transition I mostly dated men. Later, I switched back to women. I found my desire for men was rooted in the affirmation of my femininity they provided. When my journey was complete and I no longer required such validation, I discovered I was no longer attracted to men.”
We’re Not Old Enough to Consent to Love
Time has taught us young people need to reach a certain age to effectively consent to sex or marriage. We know at a younger age: they’re not qualified to make such a decision and we created laws and rules to protect them accordingly.
Transgender women also evolve like young girls and it takes awhile before they know their new self well enough to make healthy decisions. As with our young female counterparts, we’re often convinced we’re ready - when we’re not. Knowing if a trans-woman is far enough along in her journey to know what she wants takes some experience.
We’re a Financial Rescue
Being transgender is often devastating financially-speaking. It's this differential that most limits transgenders in the world today.
A gay male or lesbian often share the inherent prejudice that comes with being homosexual - and how such prejudice can limit their income opportunities. However, they don’t have to spend $50,000 to $100,000 just be gay.
Costs to successfully transition vary greatly based upon the inherent physical features of the individual and their need and willingness to invest more heavily in being “prettier” - and the degree of safety they're willing to forgo in terms of licensed physicians in that regard.
A lot of transgender women become very jaded during transition. This is perhaps the most common complaint from Admirers.
However? We don’t start that way: quite the opposite. In fact, when transsexuals begin their journey - they’re like an infant: born anew. We’re usually very excited! Like most young children, we don’t begin with prejudice or lack of trust: its their nature to love everyone. The jaded side comes after abuse and a need to protect a bruised inner child.
After announcing plans to change genders, lots of old friends and many family members will pull away - disown us. Co-workers might express their disapproval by driving us to leave our jobs. Most of the men in our lives are seeking fantasy fulfillment: broken promises are often a way of life.
Like any jaded edge: we can and do heal. However, we’re usually not very trusting at the onset.
We Just Want “Money”
As I mentioned previously, transition is often a very expensive process. Also, our ability to earn a living gets hampered by inherent transgender prejudice. If you add those circumstances to having had men love and leave us like an unpaid prostitute? You can begin to comprehend why some girls end up fixated upon money from potential partners.
I’m very sympathetic to this plight. I’m one of the few post-transition transsexual women with substantial assets. However, along that path? I was also homeless and destitute.
If your transgender partner isn’t done with transition? She’s facing more investments and additional costs. Enough money - is her reality.
Additional chapters in This Section Include
A Transsexual Woman's Greatest Fears
A Transsexual Marriage
Loving a Transsexual