Transsexual and Shemale Dating Websites Review
Looking to find a sexy trans girl for something longer term connection?
It's not easy unless you get lucky - meet her during every day life and first form a healthy friendship that evolves into something better. Can't begin to tell you the number of girls I know who met their sweetie on a whim - in a shopping isle at their local Target or at a bar waiting to be seated at a restaurant.
Following is an encapsulation of some of the most popular places to look for a transsexual girlfriend on the web:
Also, if you're looking for insider tips on meeting a tranny? These other free site articles might provide what you're looking for:
The Four Big Challenges with Finding a TS Girlfriend
Transsexual and Shemale Dating Websites
Transgender Chat Rooms
Writing a Good Letter to a Trans Woman
The Six Worst Things to Say to a TS
TS Dating Website Reviews
UrNotAlone has one of the most comprehensive registries of trans girls around and an active “chat room” - but the site is more for girls to connect as friends and for support versus a “dating site”. You can view the girls complete gallery of photos if you buy their affordable member upgrade.
TSDating.com - One of the largest commercial trans-dating sites.
TS TV Dates - This commercial trans date site is larger and better suited than most expect: lots of ads from real gals / worth a visit.
TS Dates - Another commercial trans dating website. They all start to look the same after awhile, no? Sometimes think they all hire the same web designer. Another noted resource.
TGPersonals.com - A free site. A favorite for many.
Match.com - Lots of trans-women have a personal ad on traditional dating sites like Match.com. You’ll need to search key words to find a transsexual. However, a lot of the girls on here are post-operative. If you’re looking for pre-op or non-op, you’ll completely piss-off a "postie" if you ask her if she still has her in-born equipment.
OKCupid.com - Lots of trans-women have a personal ad on traditional dating sites like OKCupid.com - even more than match.com - since its free and the owner of PlentyofFish.com deletes any trans women he finds on his site: the ultimate jerk!
You’ll need to search key words to find a transsexual. However, a lot of the girls on here are post-operative. If you’re looking for pre-op or non-op, you’ll completely piss-off a "postie" if you ask her if she still has her in-born equipment.
TS Girlfriend - A noncommercial site. Also includes helpful articles and tips.
Transgender Dating Apps
Trans - "Trans" is a new exclusively transgender based dating app. Suspect its a bit more focused on the alternative sexual nature of transgender versus legitimate love connection since its description also mentions "Kinky Chat".
Skout - Skout will forever be special in my book - its where I first met my fiancé and partner of over three years: Samantha.
Tinder - for years "Tinder" - one of the most popular dating Apps was not exactly trans friendly. Following an update in 2016 - that company made great strides to help gender non-conforming people find partners and playmates.
The Worst Things to Say to a Transsexual in a First Email 
All set to craft that first letter to the transsexual woman of your dreams? Congrats! Hope it goes well. However, there are four subjects, comments, attachments and phrases I would strongly suggest you steer clear, including:
Additional chapters Included in this section on this subject, include:
The Four Big Challenges with Finding a TS Girlfriend
Transsexual and Shemale Dating Websites
Transgender Chat Rooms
Writing a Good Letter to a Trans Woman
The Six Worst Things to Say to a TS
Shemale
Don’t use the term “shemale” at any point in your letter. This description was created by the pornography industry to help sell pornographic erotica that features pre-operative transsexual women. It’s considered a derogatory descriptor to almost every transsexual woman - unless she’s trying to get you to subscribe to her own private porn site. Its pretty much “the N-Word” of the transgender community.
When a guy uses the term shemale when communicating with a transsexual woman? It tells her three important things: first off, you know nothing about transgender women, second - your desire is completely rooted in a sexual fantasy and three - this inexperience means you’re not remotely a candidate for any sort of real relationship.
Get the picture?
“I’m a virgin & I want you to be my first. Please be gentle.”
I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve seen this sort of info included in a personal ad or as a first response during initial correspondence with a transgender woman. It also sometimes includes a graphic image of the guy’s backside.
BIG mistake!
Along with the dominant she-male fantasy? This is about the worst thing you could say to a transsexual woman. Why’s that?
First off, very few transsexual women sexually identify as versatile - let alone top. Thus, what you’re putting out would be comparable to a gay guy sending you photos of his ass bent over and asking if you wanted some - if your ad was on a heterosexual dating site. Can you imagine how you would react to such a letter?
Secondly, “virgins” of any sort - be it sexually or with trans-dating - are usually not appealing to many transsexual women. Taking virgins is a guy fantasy…not female. Women – trans or otherwise – tend to respond most aptly to men that are comfortable with handling a woman. Trans-women go through a lot to get where they are now in life, appearance and sexuality. Your shy newness is not appealing to such a platform.
Finally, such a comment implies this is all about a sexual fantasy to you. Most transsexuals will suggest you take that need up with a paid escort.
Anything that strikes as “looking for my first experience” - will usually work against you if you’re trying to connect on-line. The only time that’s not the case is if you first meet her in a public setting. However, the “I’m a virgin” comment insures you’ll go home alone every single time.
Again, if you’re looking for your first experience? I would strongly recommend you start with a transsexual escort.
Nude Photos
The third worst thing you can do is include nude photos of yourself. No woman - transsexual or otherwise - wants to bear witness to your penis unless she specifically advertised for some sort of extraordinary anatomical feature. Remember…we were once men. We’ve seen far more naked guys in our lifetime than all of our female friends, combined!
If you look good with your shirt off? Fine. If you kill a swimsuit - include a fun picture from the beach. Don’t send a nude photo!
Transsexual women understand most men simply want to fulfill a fantasy by reaching out. Sending a nude photo - including a close-up of Mr. Willy? This confirms you’re in that category and drops your chances to pretty-much zilch.
“I See You as a Woman”
Saying “I see you as a woman” sounds like a good idea and I know most guys that say this have their heart in the right place. However, in reality? By saying that? You’re affirming you do see her differently. Have you made that same statement to a born-woman? Of course not. Thus, don’t use the phrase with a transsexual female either.
Reminds me of that scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere tells Julia’s Roberts character he’s never treated her like a prostitute and she private retorts: “You just did”.
Just communicate and treat her like any other lady. Steer clear of transgender-based subjects and terminology.
“Is that your real hair?”
Most transsexual women wear wigs or extensions as a part of their female platform. You’d never know - since we become very skilled at crafting a convincing presentation at every level.
Telling a transsexual you prefer / or only want a beautiful transsexual with her own hair is like a woman saying she only wants a hot guy with at least a $10 million net worth statement.
Some things can’t be helped: get over it.
“Do you still have your penis?”
Transsexual women that place an on-line personal ad realize most guys who respond are seeking the fantasy: a beautiful female form who still has a penis. However, it’s entirely inappropriate to ask if she still has such configuration.
Most gals who completed bottom surgery will mention they are “post-operative” in their ad. That means - they no longer possess male configuration. It’s a private question and girls have a wide variety of outlooks about how they feel about this part of their anatomy. Don’t ask about it early-on.
Important Terminology to Learn
A starting vocabulary for neophytes to the transgender community
If you visit another country and don’t know the native tongue? You often get lost in a hurry. Same holds true in the world of transsexualism.
As we just discussed in the last section, the primary difference between various transgender women is usually defined by two elements:
- Where we are in the process of transformation and;
- How far we intend to proceed with that evolution.
For some, this need is limited to a private quarterly sessions in the wife's pantyhose. For others, it requires sexual reassignment surgery. The rest? They find solace in-between these two boundaries.
Also, trans-girls often evolve through various phases in their gender journey and change the label associated with their gender expression accordingly.
With that precept in mind, here’s some of the most common terms you’ll hear regarding various people in the trans-community. Some labels apply generically to all trans-people - like “transgender”. Also, some girls fall under more than one label: For example? Some transsexuals also perform as DRAG Queens, etc.
Transgender
As previously discussed, “transgender” - is an all-encompassing term used to describe any person with alternative genera expressive behavior. Within this broad sector is a wide variety of subsets like cross dressers, transsexuals, transvestites, DRAG Queens, etc. Thus Transgender could be likened to a generic term “automobile” - whereas a transsexual could be likened to a Porsche. Continuing with that analogy - you’ll find various makes and models for each brand of car / transsexual expression.
Other terms associated with this label are: TG - short for transgender.
Cisgender
Cisgender is the exact opposite of transgender. It represents a person whose completely happy and comfortable with the gender they were born. Most people on the planet identify as Cisgender. It’s not a commonly used term in the public domain. Rather, its used most often as a non-transgender marker in gender based clinical studies.
GRS
GRS is an acronym for Gender Reassignment Surgery. It’s also sometimes called SRS = Sexual Reassignment Surgery - but GRS is the current politically correct terminology. GRS is the surgery for creating a neo-vagina using the born male anatomy for vagina walls, clitoris, etch Nothing is wasted! It’s also known as final surgery and bottom surgery.
Orchie
An Orchie is short for an Orchiectomy. This is essentially the procedure for castration - having the testicles removed. Since its irreversible, an orchid is often considered an acceptable alternative to legally be considered female in many US states. Also, an orchie costs much less than GRS.
MTF
MTF is an acronym for a male-to-female transgender person - meaning this person was born male but needs to present female - either on a part time or full-time basis.
FTM
FTM is an acronym for a female-to-male transgender person - meaning this person was born female but needs to present as male - either on a part time or full-time basis.
T-Girl
“T-girls" is another “all encompassing” term used to describe transgenders - but only includes the MTF variant = “girls”. This was my preferred self definition before I started transition vs. cross dresser, DRAG Queen or transvestite.
Trans Woman
“T-girls" is another “all encompassing” term used to describe transgender women - but only includes the MTF variant = “girls”.
GG / Born Woman
A GG is an acronym for a “Genetic Girl” - a woman naturally born as female. Other similar terms used to describe naturally-born females includes: Born-women, natal females and “natals”.
HRT Therapy
HRT therapy or as commonly called in trans-world - “taking hormones” - is a specialized hormone regimen for MTF transsexual women that includes much heavier doses than administered to post-menopausal women. The programs include a variant of female estrogen and a testosterone blocker. This process tends to soften male tissue - particularly noticeable in the facial area. It also creates breast tissue and nipple growth - although usually limited to a A-cup or small B-cup.
Transsexual women usually remain on an HRT regimen throughout their lives albeit with less dosage following GRS or an Orchiectomy.
Transition
“Transition” is a phase a transsexual person goes through in order to successfully change their gender. It can take many years to successfully complete. It usually starts with professional counseling regarding confirmation and severity of Gender Identity Disorder issues (GID) and progresses to the use of a hormone replacement therapy regimen along with testosterone blockers to help create a more feminine platform to develop. In the case of FTM transsexuals, testosterone shots are administered. Usually, sometime during or after this step, a transsexual woman starts trying to live “full time” as a woman in her work and personal life. If and when they can afford it? Transsexual women will often get specialized cosmetic surgery to enhance their new gender presentation including FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) and breast augmentation. There’s also the painful process of facial hair removal - usually with electrolysis but sometimes just with laser. For FTM transsexuals? Early cosmetic changes usually include breast reduction or removal. It’s during this phase that a transsexual learns to function in their new gender - often by trial and error. This period is often the most overwhelming aspect of transition since many old friends and family pull away as a symbol of protest. Additionally, lots of trans-people lose their jobs after going full-time…at the exact time transition related costs are increasing substantially. Eventually, most transsexual women seek GRS or an Orchie for their own gratification and to also satisfy the legal requirements for becoming female on various identifying documents.
Admirer
Admirer is a term used to describe a man or a woman whose naturally attracted to transgender women. Some guys who are into tranny’s can’t stand the label but no new term has ever arisen. There’s both male and female admirer’s. There’s also Admirer’s that are part time cross dressers. That usually means they cross dress but are still into transsexual women.
Tranny Chaser
Tranny chaser (AKA Chaser or TC) is a less endearing term used to describe men attracted to transgender women. The term was born from the gay male community during the earlier old days that specialized in trans patrons. These gay men would term straight guys that “cashed” after the transgender women as “tranny chasers”. In today’s trans culture? If a trans-woman calls a guy a “chaser” - it usually means they consider them completing fixated on the fact she’s transcend vs. knowing anything about her as a person. If you’re called a “tranny chaser” - it’s often not viewed as complementary.
Top
The term top is used to describe a variety of sexual & relationship manifestations within alternative love unions. It was born from who “gravitates to being on top” when two people lay down in bed. Some people are more naturally inclined to be on the top - feeling trapped and out of sorts when underneath another. Others, only feel comfortable on the bottom - beneath their partner when prone. It’s also used to describe personality roles in a loving union: the top is most often the alpha, the person who defaults to decision making, etc. Sexually-speaking a top is the person whose doing the penetrating.
Bottom
A “bottom” is the exact opposite, complimentary variant to the “top” just described above.
Versatile
When someone says they are “versatile”? It means - sexually-speaking - they are comfortable performing as both top and bottom. In BDSM culture, this person is called a “switch”.
Transsexual
A transsexual is a transgender person - starting from either a male or female platform - that’s determined through therapy and/or their own reflection they were clearly born in the wrong body. They usually have plans to change their gender via “transition” - or have already done so.
Pre-OP Transsexual
A “pre op transsexual” is a transsexual whose usually already living full time in their new gender but who hasn’t yet had the final / bottom surgery = also known as GRS / SRS.
Post Op Transsexual
A Post-Op Transsexual is a transsexual whose already completed “bottom surgery” - GRS. 99.99% of the time she’s been living full-time as a woman for an extended period. Generally-speaking, post-op transsexual women are amongst the most well balanced & evolved transgender women - since they’re now past much of drama associated with being transgender. However, that’s not always the case.
Non Op Transsexual
A Non-Op Transsexual is a transsexual who hasn’t and doesn’t intend to finalize her journey with GRS / “bottom Surgery”.
Shemale
Almost every transgender gal has been called a "She-Male" at some point in her trans-female journey. For me, it most often occurred back in the days of trans night clubbing - or any other time I was around relative newcomers to transgenderism. However, a shemale is a distinctive member of the transgender family. I define a "she-male" as a "full time" t-girl - usually with breast augmentation - that is preoperative (still has a penis) and works in the sex industry.
The term was created by the porn industry to market pre-op & non-op transsexuals as a new type of pornography. It’s proven very successful. “Tranny Porn” continues to be one of the few remaining thriving sectors in that industry. Lots of trans-women working as paid escorts also use the term to describe themselves in order to leverage interest by paid dates.
However, calling a transsexual woman a “she male” is considered a derogatory term - its akin to calling her a prostitute.
Tranny
“Tranny” - is a slang used to describe a trans-woman. As with the “N-word”, it’s usually considered disrespectful to use this term unless you’re also a transgendered person.
Ladyboy
Ladyboy is an Americanized slang used to describe Thai trans-women - but now its used universally for almost all Asian trans-women by American admirers.
Trans Man
Another “all encompassing” term used to describe transgender men. Only includes the FTM variant = “boys”.
Crossdresser
A “crossdresser" (AKA - CD or CDer) is a man who fulfills a need for transgender expression through occasionally - or often - dressing and presenting as a woman. Some cross dressers share their craft publicly: shopping, socializing and going to dinner - often with other similarly evolved trans-women. Some only do it privately - either because they’re spouse or friends would no be supportive, they worry about life issues associated with if someone finds out or they feel they could never “pass” in public.
I've found very few men in the world who have not at least tried being a "one time CD" by donning a woman's panties. Why is this so widespread? Who knows! I'm pretty certain the fact female undergarments look and feel so much sexier than jockey shorts plays a minor role!
There’s also the “fetish cross dresser” - whose primary motivation for cross dressing is the sexual stimulation associated with such activities. The internet is a boon for most cross dressers - allowing them to connect publicly and privately as never before.
Some of the healthiest and most balanced members of the trans-community are cross dressers.
However, that’s not always the case. One cross dresser variants - we call the “fantasy cross dresser” is notoriously problematic. These girls are usually closeted cross dressers with a strong sexual tie to being transformed. They’ll use photos and images of other transgender women - or born-women - and engage others on-line with their female persona’s. Both men and other trans-women have been fooled by these con’s. Fortunately, the trans-world is a rather small community and they always eventually get “found out” regardless how good the con.
Transvestite
(AKA TV) Although the Latin derivation for the word transvestite is basically "crossdressing”, it’s most commonly associated with the more “fetish-based” and “over the top” interpretations of womanhood in trans-world versus standard cross dressing. Transvestite style are rarely created to “pass” - but to explore and test the most exotic and erotic side of femininity. It also usually includes more make up, bigger hair and lots more trimming. I was certainly the poster child for this definition in the 1990’s but I personally never bonded with this “term”. The word itself sounded too much like some pervert, to me.
DRAG Queen
By classic definition, a prototypical DRAG Queen isn’t really a member of the transgender community. They’re more closely with the gay community - versus trans-world. Most DRAG Queen are gay guys that are simply too fabulous to remain a man “all the time”. Thus, some create female characters, costumes and persona’s for DRAG stage performances.
However…since many transsexuals also work as DRAG performers: it’s not so cut & dry.
DRAG Queens used to cause havoc for transgenders in the public domain. Why w’as that? Lots of people’s first direct encounter with trans expression was at a DRAG show. When some performers made playful and crude comments regarding being their sexuality - this caused confusion later when people always assumed trans-expression meant you’re gay. Nowadays, people are much more aware of the differences.
Also, there’s a big difference between doing DRAG...and being a DRAG Queen. DRAG and DRAG-themed nightclubs are at the essence of transgender evolution. It was once the only place for transgender women to find total acceptance & it remains a haven and source of income for some trans-gals to this day. I am now clearly a transsexual woman - but I still do DRAG as a part of my entertainment platform,
The acid test for a DRAG Queen vs. a transgender is what we want to wear and present during intimacy. A DRAG Queen? They’ll want to lose the get up and be a “guy” in a loving union. A trans-girl? She’ll want to remain feminine in appearance during love-making.
The easiest means of determining the difference? Simply ask. DRAG Queens and T-Girls have no confusion regarding who they are - and who they are not.
Gender Queer
Gender Queers are sort of the transvestites of alternative gender expression. These are people who feel a need to express an alternative gender but usually not as completely as a transgender person. Thus, they’ll sometimes mix genders in their presentation.
DRAG Queen
A DRAG King as a woman who creates and presents a male character for stage amusement - often through costume, make up and choreography while lip-syncing a male voice to a song.
Some DRAG Kings are transitioning FTM transsexuals. Others, are heavy duty lesbian dykes with a strong masculine flair. There's also a number of gender variant women who identify as Gender Queer who perform as DRAG Kings.
At present, DRAG King show are not as publicly popular as DRAG Queens acts - but interest continues to expand each year.
Androgynous
An androgynous person or persona is a person who represents equally between male and female: not fully identifying with either gender. Also, MTF & FTM transsexuals often go through a phase of androgyny through their outward appearance since during the beginning stages of transition - it can become difficult for the public to quickly determine which gender they are.
Intersex
Intersex” is a broad term used to describe people born with reproductive or chromosomal anatomy variant from the norm of their born gender. For this reason, some interest people are perceived as transgender if they subsequently bond with certain in-born traits but its more complicated than that.
Klinefelter Syndrome
Klinefelter is a chromosomal disorder that affects only males. People with this condition are born with at least one extra X chromosome. It tends to cause a much more effeminate male presentation from the onset.