Deciding to Transition or Not
As never before, transgender women are starting transition at a record pace.
Simple: easy access to information via the internet. There was a ton of gals hidden by shame & ignorance before the connectivity of information. Add those to all the new, younger trans-women just arriving on the scene? Looks like a stampede at times.
The path is also easier thanks to the efforts of many pioneers. However, along with this easier way comes new problems.
Previously, there was the “Harry Benjamin Standards of Care” which outlined detailed steps that insured a person who identified as transgender followed a transition path that confirmed they would face no regrets later. These essential milestones assured we knew what we were doing & confirmed our resolution.
For all intents & purposes? Those qualifications are now mostly collecting dust.
You'd be hard pressed to find a trans-gal that can detail these important prerequisites: present company included. Thus, our’s is the new reality. Not saying its better or worse: just a fact. Thus, I’m not going to fight it - I'm here to help you manage it more successfully.
Why Do You Feel This Intense Need to Change Gender?
There's enough research to accurately determine that our need to express an alternative gender from the one we’re born is caused by varied degrees of masculinzation to the brain during our evolution in the womb.
Every mammal is first conceived female: it's the default gender. Every once and awhile the most complex organ on the body - the human brain - doesn’t successfully compete the light speed trek to its final gender. Thus, you end up with a male body being born with a female brain.
Sounds familiar, huh?
What you’re dealing with is an inborn medical condition. It’s very real. It’s also challenging to handle and remain content without further resolution.
Are You Sure?
I will forever recall being in a transgender-based chat room when a gal announced to the room that she’d just started hormones.
The chat-comments were immediately awash with non-stop “congratulations” to this gal. However, I can promise if you said that to any trans-woman whose actually “completed” a successful transition? Her support would be slow. My response remains cautious: Are you sure?
The reason I ask is that I can’t begin to tell you how difficult this will be and how much longer it takes to accomplish then most people realize.
“But Renee: ‘Being a girl’ is all I think about”
I know that feeling, GF: but please ponder this: since this condition is situated in our brain, it's easy for it to become an obsession. Add the fact it often stimulates sexual impulses? It’s only natural for lots of gals to think of nothing except becoming a woman.
Most of us vividly recall wanting & needing to be a girl at an early age. As we passed puberty, those impulses never went away but our levels of testosterone often offset the degree. As we got older & our levels of testosterone decline? You guessed it...we end up on a collision course with gender identity disorder.
Please Do Me This Favor
I want you to carefully read...then re-read - the following quote from Epicurus:
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not;
but remember that what you now have
was once among the things you only hoped for.”
Changing your gender will not make you happy. Its but one possible solution to a medical condition known as gender identity disorder. If you proceed with transition, it's going to wreak havoc upon your life the likes of which you could never imagine: family, friends, career, finances, and your love-life and sex life.
Once you change physiologically - your sexual desires will dramatically decline. You will no longer seek a mirror or a crowd to validate your feelings. In fact, you often prefer to avoid mirrors like every other woman.
If you're lucky enough and you fight hard enough...you just might end up looking pretty hot. Then...you finally get to play “Cinderella”…come strolling into a big event...dressed to the nines...looking hot - and nobody knows you’re transgender. That fantasy ever come to mind?
I know: we all shared that vision at one point along the way. However - it’s not a lot of fun if you finally accomplish it with no job or friends & family for loving support.
Take your time with this decision. It’s a big one!
Additional chapters in This Section include:
MTF Transition Success: Making the Biggest Decision of your Life
MTF Transition - Deciding to do it or Not
A Gender Transition: Final Checklist
Common Reasons We Feel Compelled to Change Genders
How Long Does it Take to Successfully Transition?
Hope for Anyone: What I looked like before transition
Common Mistakes of Beginning Transsexual Women
Defining a Successful MTF Transition
Where to Find a Doctor to Prescribe Hormone Replacement Therapy
Preparing to Start a Gender Transition
The Final Analysis on Transition