"Where We Are Going..."

  future trans-gender-ations

We're in the midst of a most special stage of tranz-evolution. Never before has the general public shown such an interest in at least trying to understand - the issues we face with "alternative gender identification". I would love to be alive - when any person could choose their gender identity for the day, month, year - or their life - without repercussions. However, I'm equally excited to be around when the platform for such a splendid world is under construction. I'm a "builder" by nature. *Smile*

The Internet is providing the fuel to power this future utopia. It provides t-girls with an open forum to discover others "just like them". It allows them to meet one another and share ideas and outlooks. It also provides a medium to impart our beauty not only as "gals" - but as people - with the rest of the population situated around the globe.

Unfortunately, the Web will only carry this mission so far. Progress requires more than "fuel" - it requires individuals. I know as well as anybody "our lifestyle" hinders us from becoming vocal gender-leaders in our cities & towns. I sure can't be one. However, we can help our sisters of the future - and our friends of today - with a few simple steps.

state of the union

renee's perspective

I've been dressing in earnest and going out in public as a woman for about ten years. During this period, I've witnessed a great deal of change. Namely, the general acceptance level of t-girls has risen dramatically. I know sisters who feel this change never occurs fast enough - but I'd have to say that relative to the last 50 years - we're on a fairly high velocity course for transgenderism becoming an accepted part of everyday society.

When I first started began venturing out the door, most the girls I saw were "DRAG queens" - gay men dressed as women. DRAG is more of a parody of men en femme - than "real" transgenderism. During this time, if you were a t-girl, (who hadn't gone through the process of breast enhancement and collagen-filled lips) a lot of the gays would harass you. They'd suggest you should "get out of the dress", and accept the "fact" - you were just using it as a crutch for actually being "gay".

Today, t-girls are far better understood in both the gay community - and the "straight world" as well. Certainly not everyone "accepts" us - but far more people have a basic concept of "why" we do what we do - than ever before. This growth in "comprehension" doesn't yet equate to us transforming on as trouble free as we would prefer, but we're getting there...

"ahoy, mate"...

"Things are improving". Compared to a few years ago - our success seems almost immeasurable. 

However - I don't mean to paint a picture of a "brave new world" on the horizon. I "wish" that was the case - but it's not. 

There's a large new "continent" of transgender acceptance "on the horizon". Unfortunately, "the Mayflower" - hasn't even "hit" Plymouth Rock - yet. *Laugh* 

We've come a very long way - but we have much, much, much further to go. 

To get "there" - we've got a few problems to address. What are they? Here's a few...

our issues

the splintering

"Splinters" - are items broken into thin, sharp pieces - and they usually "smart" - when you get stuck by one. We have a lot of "splinters" within our t-world - and they are injuring us badly! In fact, I'd say you could classify "us" -  as one, big, dysfunctional family. LOL

Why are we so splintered? First, we each have our own selfish interests - and agendas. Second, many of us are at "different points" in our "tranz-evolution" of femininity. We often don't "relate" well with others who are at places we've already been - and don't wish to revisit. When you add the elements of our need for discretion regarding our lifestyle - and natural differences between personality, education, economic status, etc. - it can become difficult for us to establish close friendships. Lack of bonds - are an inherent cause of splintering. Without strong "connections" - things break apart quite easily.

The Vanity Club - an on-line alliance of t-girls - uses a slogan I admire. "We are all different, we are all the same". A gal by the name of "Tippy Gillette" first coined that thought - and I feel she is very wise. If we could all learn to live in our community by this standard - our problems would be fewer.

Our inherent "split" - is between Transsexuals & Transgenders versus Crossdressers & Transvestites. Why? Because the latter group dresses primarily for erotic satisfaction - whereas the former bunch - transitions for gender expression. Did you comprehend the difference in that rather subtle sounding disparity? Basically, one group dresses for their sexual satisfaction - and the other does so to satisfy their sexuality. Sounds sort of like "men & women", doesn't it? To a certain degree, it is!

Usually, the angry sparks start flying when the TV/CD starts "ass grabbing" with the TS/TG - whether in a bar, at a mall, or via email. The answer to this dilemma? More TV/CD's must be better educated on this difference - and learn to respect the feelings and leanings of their TS/TG sisters. Likewise, more TS/TG gals need to recall the feelings (and habits) they had during their earlier days - and try a more "motherly" approach to these new sisters. 

You can then "add" the Shemale - to this already dysfunctional "relationship". What do you end up with? Splinters - broken into cliques - divided into groups. The result? No focus...no real "progress"...by anyone.

How do we resolve these conflicts? It'll take a lot of time. The inconsistencies didn't occur in one day - and they won't vanish in a "second" - either.

Respect - is the key word on both sides of this dilemma. Let's try it! We can't sink half the ship - or we'll all go down together. ((hugs))

Here's a "few" thoughts for each "camp" - to consider...

giving "thanks" for CD's & TV's

Ever wonder "why" put our best young men in "harm's way" - in some far away country situated in the middle of a desert? "Humanity?" *Laugh* Sure! 

We do so for one simple reason - money! We support such "investments" with sound humanitarian rhetoric. But "the money" - is what sends the troops over the hill.

Money - is the key to the embracing of transgenderism at all levels of society. Guess what? It's happening...

Have you noticed a change in the attitudes of retail clerks when you buy "women's clothes" - as a guy? I did. Not only are they getting "friendlier" - but many don't hesitate to say "my bra", etc.

I followed up on this "information" with various friends situated in senior positions amongst major retailers. It was insightful "research". I discovered that "outwardly" - they're training their people to be more sympathetic to the needs of the transgender community. They told them "it's the right thing to do". 

The real "reason". They figured out how much we're spending as our ranks swelled. 

"Transsexual" commerce? No way - most tranny's are almost always "broke". There's no many of "them" either.

The torch - is being carried - by "the hidden purses" of the garden variety "crossdresser" & "transvestite". 

You'll see both the GLBT "lobby" and every "other" tranny group claim credit for improvements. Their roles are essential to our progress. However - the real power - is situated where it always is - with the money!

If you're a full-time tranny - and you feel like bitching at one of those "damn crossdressers" whose making you "look bad" because they're dressed like a sixteen year old girl...stop & add up how much her total ensemble "costs".  

Her commerce is playing more of a role in you eventually "looking great" - than all your efforts combined.

We're in this "together" - whether we like it - or not!

support your local shemale

After "money" - what's the second most powerful motivating force for human being's? Sex - of course. Lots of people place it "number one".

No, I'm not talking about the act - we all know that's "overrated". I'm referring to "sexiness" - and it's impact on people's "opinions".

We live in a society where when "beauty talks - people listen". Yes, us "ugly" people get "heard - but we must throw a lot more elbows to find ourselves situated at the podium than those gifted with a "pretty smile".

I didn't say it was "just" - just a fact. If you don't believe - you're being naive.

Most "Shemales" are simply pursuing the course of their lovely counterparts amongst genetic females. From "prostitution"? No - from being "paid" - because they're lovely. They've just not "graduated" to the status of the "country club wife' - yet.

They're stunning looks are playing a very powerful role in our total acceptance in society. Now - and almost exclusively amongst the "Shemale" community - we have a "representative group" of drop dead, knock out "females" - to "point at" regarding how "beautiful" a transsexual can be. 

Think "this" doesn't have a huge impact on people's opinions? Think again.

Women - respect beauty. They appreciate being nice - but they admire female beauty.

Men? We all know what drives 95% of all men on earth. *Laugh* The 5% that aren't outwardly "driven" driven by "it" - are too busy wacking off to pornography to be productive...

Some of the greatest advances for the gay communities occurred - when high profile members of our society "outed" themselves. When it was some politician - everyone "laughed" and said "I figured that". But when it turned out to be a very handsome and "straight acting" person - people were shocked, women were depressed - and the idea "sunk in" that "anybody" could be gay. When that happened to a preponderance of the population...acceptance followed.

Ask a "layperson" the first word that comes to mind when they think "crossdresser" - and they think "ugly". They think  "serial killer".

"Our" Shemales are simply our "physical" best of breeds playing the role of their genetic female counterparts as best they can. Make no mistake - it's helping.

Beauty talks - people "listen". It's just that simple. 

think "family" - before fame

"Jerry" - "Jerry" - "Jerry"...Of course - you know the "Jerry" I'm talking about - and every other "Tom, Dick & Harry" - just like him.

These "shows" - and other actions "parallel" to them - wreck havoc on the lives of traditional transsexuals. Why? When people see a young genetic female guest do & say something really "stupid" on these programs - they don't subsequently "classify" the entire female "race" as stupid. Why not? Because they know better "examples".

Unfortunately, few people across the US are "aware" that they're friends, employers, and coworkers of a transsexual. 

Those who would choose to put such an ugly "face" on transsexualism hurt a lot more people than they could ever understand. Before the next Tranny hops on a show like "this" - and presents an image like "that"...I sure wish she would stop and consider how her actions affect others. 

Her "real" family needs her to consider them - before her "perceived" fame...

our future

the tuf plan

Togetherness - What makes "Renee" different from a t-girl who has completed GRS and been living as a woman for the last 20 years? A lot! We face different issues in our transgenderism - both now - and in the future. However, we share one important trait: we are both "T". 

I liken this "sisterhood" to the sprawling Pin Oak tree situated on my lawn. It has a myriad of branches reaching out in a variety of directions Each branch comes in a assortment of shapes - some are long, others are short - a few are broken. One attribute about my oak remains true: when you reach the very end of each branch - the "shape" - of each leaf - is the same. This is true of every Pin Oak in Atlanta, GA ... or Kentucky ... or Montana... or Germany... you get the picture. The reason these trees end up looking identical "in the end" - regardless of which branch you follow - is they are fundamentally the same.  

Transgenderism is quite similar to these oak trees - all different - yet all the same. We simply must learn to accept this fact - together!

Understanding

I read an interesting "tranny" joke the other day included in a list of paradoxes comparing "real women" and "part-time" crossdressers. It went as follows: "Real Women are looked up to by most part-time cross dressers as the essence of contentment. Part-Time Crossdressers are looked down upon by fulltime crossdressers, who are in turn looked down upon by most of society including women."  This little "spot" of humor is but a glimpse into the constant battles regarding lack of mutual respect and understanding - within our community. It didn't even mention DRAG Queens - the absolute "Queens" of dishing out insults to just about everybody.

I know of no person in the world who likes to be "picked on". I know of no one on earth who enjoys being singled out as "different" - and subsequently made fun of. Do you? I didn't think so. Why is it within the transgender community that we are so hell bent on distinguishing ourselves from another "group" in our little world. Can you imagine what could happen if we expended this same amount of energy in trying to identify where we are similar? 

Of course, all of this first relates to "understanding". Have you ever heard the expression... "Remember to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak. Sometime in your life - you will have been all of these."

I feel this credo should be the mantra of each and every t-girl in the world today. Our success in understanding one another will serve as a powerful lever in getting others not afflicted with any form of gender dysphasia to accept us better in the years ahead.

Understanding - by all people - is a key to our future happiness.

Focus - The difference between a laser - and an incandescent light bulb - is monumental. The focus of the laser can cut plate steel with ease and precision. A light bulb can only mildly scald one's fingers. The difference between these two light sources - is the power of focus! 

Although our collective needs as t-girls are compelling, their "resolution" is far in the future. We will likely continue to live with a lot of separated issues for now. Historically, a "focused need" has stirred many a revolution in the world. From what I've seen, our focus as t-girls - has not yet reared her pretty head. She will. She always does - when needs are not being met. 

If we can first accomplish togetherness and understanding - I believe we will master the challenge of focus - when the test arises - in the future. 

role modeling

Being a "role model" is a big responsibility. Many people who've been thrust into this position - never asked for the "title". Just ask any professional athlete - or television star.

A lack of role models is a sure fire way to limit any culture. I have always believed the most limiting factor amongst my friends in the African American community has been the shortage of positive role models from their own history. Whereas other minorities are often rich in colorful heritage - the positive folklore supporting most African Americans is a more brief read. Upbeat historical role models breed confidence for future generations. 

The same problem holds true in our t-community. We are a little "light" on positive role models. Most of our earlier examples made their living from pornographic industries. Quite frankly, as twisted as it may sound - they've been the true pioneers of our cause. Be honest with me - how many of you would recognize 80%+ of these "early models" in a crowded room? No? Liar, liar - pants on fire! *Grin*

As much as we've appreciated (and relished) "their leadership" - it's time for us to "leap frog" to the next generation of role model. So who is this new role model? You are, girlfriend! You are part of the next wave of pioneers for future generations of t-girls. I know you didn't ask for the responsibility - but honey - you've got it!

How does a t-girl act as a role model? 

the power of one

I understand your highest priority is accomplishing your own personal goals. They might be beauty enhancement, weight loss, fighting for your rights as a TS, getting your wife to accept your dressing - or funding that hot dress you'd love to purchase. However, I believe you'll discover - as I have - that after you've developed your skills in familial balance, make up, and wardrobe, etc. - to a certain point - this path can seem a little "wayward". 

It is at this point one begins to comprehend the utter ugliness of being alone - and the beauty of having friends. You begin to realize that "real beauty" is not something you put on - but rather - something you bring out...in yourself - as well as others. If each of us will just reach back one rung on the ladder and help hoist the gal below us up - just a bit - we'll collectively pull ourselves into the far reaches of t-heaven.

So how does one properly "role model" for future trans-gender-ations? Certainly not by being "perfect". If that were the criteria - Renee would be banned for life! LOL The path to quality role modeling is simple - offer love! Look at each of your "sisters" - as just that - your family. If she grabs your ass - try being patient and explaining your gender issues. If her hair looks "like shit" - offer a tip on how she might style it better. 

One enkindled spirit - can set 100 others on fire! *Smile*

© Copyright 2000-2002 by ReneeReyes.com

All Rights Reserved.

Key Search Words:

Renee Reyes, Transgender, Transgenderism,

T-Girl, T-Girls, Transsexuals, TS, Transvestite, TV,

CrossDressers, Crossdressing, Atlanta, Georgia