"Who We Are..." 

   more brands than proctor & gamble

Been around the t-scene much yet? One thing you'll notice in a hurry is the wide variety of "names" used to describe us. As t-girls, we get called lots of things depending upon where we are in the process, where we are heading with our transformation, and even who says it.  

You will see and hear terms like:  Transsexuals (TS); Transgender (TG); Transvestites (TV); Crossdressers (CD); Trannies; T-Girl, T-girlz, Grrls; Drag Queens; CDer, X-Dresser, She-Males; Lady Boys, and yes- even the infamous: "Chicks with Dicks" (LOL).

Naturally, this myriad of labels can make it difficult for a layperson to properly classify one t-girl from another. Don't feel bad. Even those of us "within" the t-world often disagree over our "names" - and the role of each "person" or "type" - in our growing community. 

Some gals are very sensitive regarding the "terminology" one uses in addressing them. Others could really care less what you call them - as long as you do so in a caring manner. Their level of concern regarding the "label used" is often a function of the "frustration" they have endured "surpassing" a certain phase of t-identification - and/or their confidence in themselves "as a person".

Finally, this is a dynamic process. T-girls are people - and people change.  For instance, a gal you saw last year might have started off considering herself a "transvestite". Over the course of the year, she might have decided she is really a "transsexual". Most recently, she might have determined she really considers herself "transgendered". Fun, huh? If we could make this more confusing to everyone - we'd sure try! LOL 

It's a female thing...we get to change our minds - and not feel bad about it. I'll bet you thought we just wore dresses to express our femininity. *Grin*

are we gay?

I figured I'd cut right to the chase on this matter - as about 99.9% of people I've first encountered have this little question sitting on the tip of their tongues. It's understandable. We t-girls have historically been linked into the gay "food chain" - as nobody else would claim us. *Grin*. Both transgenders and homosexuals deal with similar "fundamental issues: We need to explore our sexuality without persecution from others and we did not "choose" to be this way.  

The difference between TG's and Gays - lies in our gender identity versus sexual orientation. Gays - are by definition - homosexual. They are men who feel most comfortable - and content sexually - with another male. Although some t-girls are gay, it is estimated that over 80% are not even bisexual - let alone homosexual. They are just "happily heterosexual men" - who have an alternative gender identity. Namely - they have a need to express a female side of their personality.

A man who acts "feminine" - for the purpose of expressing a womanly persona - is not necessarily "gay". Is a woman "a lesbian" if she works in a traditionally male role - or dons prototypical male attire? Of course not!! Both are simply exploring those aspects of their personalities which make them feel most comfortable. 

Sexuality is a complex being - and one of the most powerful driving forces in the universe. One's sexual orientation (whom we are most attracted for sexual gratification) is another issue entirely from gender identity - and expression.

will we "become" gay?

A person's sexual orientation (homosexual or heterosexual) does not change quickly - if ever. Similarly, ones gender identity is slow to move. 

If you can get him/her to talk freely, you will likely discover he had these "feminine" yearnings since his earliest childhood memories. Women already smashed through their "gender revolution" at the turn of the last century. We are really just starting to deal with ours - there goes any excuse we ever had about gals taking gals too long to get ready! LOL

If he experiences sexual attraction towards another male, it will usually be for a different reason than that of a gay man. He might find himself drawn to another man - as a desire to more fully act out the process of being female. Did you ever know girls who didn't feel like a "real woman" until they had been intimate with a man?  Same thing can happen here. However, most of it relates more to "being desired" - than any real "shift" in sexual orientation. There are alternative means which many t-girls utilize to fulfill this "need". 

do we want to "become" a woman?

Maybe - but most likely not. Few t-girls - as a whole - are classified as certified transsexuals. Some go to this extreme out of frustration regarding an inability to find "balance" between dual lives. However, most just need outlets to express their female self on a part-time basis.

a "starting point" vocabulary

Most laypersons new to the "t-scene" define a transsexual - as a man who has in some way (typically via breast enhancement) altered his body to look like that of a woman. They tend to label the rest of us TV's (transvestites). In reality, you will find certain gals with a lovely pair of c-cups that identify less with their female self - than a person who only "dresses" once a month. 

The terms I will use in describing these concepts often have alternative meanings - but we simply must create a fixed point in space - so you can start to get your bearings straight.

T-Girl: I define "t-girls" as any male who is in strong contact with - and feels a need to express a feminine side of his personality through some type of physical manifestation. For some, this need is limited to a quarterly session in the wife's pantyhose. For others, it requires sexual reassignment surgery. The rest of us find solace somewhere in-between these two boundaries. 

We are ALL part of a growing sector within the male population that is discovering it's "okay" to be in touch with more than the size of our biceps. None of us is any "better" than the next - we are just people trying to enjoy the process known as happily living our lives - here on "the third rock".

Crossdresser - CD: I define a "crossdresser" or "CD" as gals who tend to dress or transform primarily for the erotic sensation it provides them. These gals usually derive sexual pleasure from being dressed - and many enjoy a degree of stress reduction as well. 

I've found very few men in the world who have not at least tried being a "one time CD" by donning a woman's panties. Why is this so widespread? Who knows! I'm pretty certain the fact female undergarments look and feel so much sexier than jockey shorts plays a minor role! *Grin*

CD's don't really carry the concept of "transformation" beyond a small cache of female attire, although some will sport a wig - for added "effect". Their feminine pleasure is mostly derived at the "mental" level. They are most certainly the largest segment of the t-girl community. Most are happily married, over 90%+ are heterosexual - and simply enjoy this diversion as part of a balanced sexual palette.

Transvestite - TV: Although the Latin derivation for the word transvestite is basically "crossdressing" - I define transvestites or TV's as gals who take cross dressing to a higher level including make up application - but their primary purpose in doing so is based upon personal erotic stimulation. I suppose you could say I define a transvestite as a crossdresser - who goes that "extra mile". *Grin* 

A TV has a deeper commitment to the sexual pleasure derived from "dressing" - than does her "CD" cousin. These individuals tend to be highly aroused by erotic visual images. Hence, they feel a need to see "a little more woman in the mirror" than a single pair of panties can provide.

I've found many CDer's who evolved to transvestites - for the simple reason they wanted to meet another sexual partner - and felt the union would be far more pleasurable if they really "looked like" a woman. Most "evolve" with the help of a female lover - like a spouse.

TV's apply make up, wear earrings, and often will spend a day alone in their home enjoying their "24 hours of  womanhood". They almost always will end up having an orgasm while dressed at some point - some times more often.

Like CD's - TV's are largely heterosexual in orientation - but their fantasies might cause you to think otherwise. Many "dream" of being sexually submissive with women, other t-girls - and sometimes men. This desire for domination is usually a means of allowing their male side to relinquish responsibility for donning silk - and all the other "things" she might want to do. 

DRAG Queen - "DRAG" is a term used universally throughout the trans-world as being "Dressed As a Girl" - but it has historically been associated most closely with the gay community - versus the transgendered world. I define a DRAG Queen as a gay guy who dresses as a woman for fun or entertainment purposes.  

DRAG Queens cause a great deal of challenges for transgenders in the world of public perception for a variety of reasons. First, most are awesome at transformation! Of all the best tips and ideas I've garnered over the years, a full 80% have come from accomplished DRAG Queens. Unlike most t-girls, DRAG Queens already live in a world where they have "come out" regarding being gay. Once a person has passed this hurdle - it makes admitting to wearing a dress - seem like child's play.

Second, the general public's first experience actually "seeing" a real live guy in a dress - is often at a DRAG show. At these events, the majority of "girls" are openly DRAG Queens - and openly gay as well. We t-girls tend to be a bit more elusive about "public appearances".

However...this needs clarification. I'm a "DRAG Queen" when I'm performing. Plenty of transsexuals do "DRAG" as a means of income and "pleasure". Make no mistake...being a "queen for a day" can be lots of fun! *Smile*

Far too many t-girls get "their feathers ruffled" - when a gay male calls them "a DRAG queen". I did "early on". What some fail to understand is this - is often considered a test of your own female "regality". You'd be amazed how many gay males "come right back" - after you've treated them as a true blooded "royal" would - and shown sincere curiosity regarding any gender identity issues.

The term "Queen" is not used lightly in the gay community. It's an honor. They expect you - to "act" like one. 

For "definition's sake...my acid test for if someone is a "DRAG Queen" versus a "Transgender" is quite simple. What does she want to wear when she is "intimate" with another person? I've yet to find a DRAG queen that "wanted" to wear their female garb during sex. Conversely, most transgenders "won't go to bed" - without it.

The easiest means of determining the difference is to simply ask them. DRAG Queens and T-Girls have very little confusion regarding who they are - and who they are not.

She-Male - SM: Every t-girl I know has been called a "She-Male" at some point in her feminine "career". With me, it occurs most often when I'm out "night clubbing" - or any other time I'm around relative newcomers - to transgenderism. However, SM's are distinctive and visible members of the transgender family. I define a "she-male" as a "full time" t-girl - usually with breast augmentation - that is preoperative (still has a penis) and works in the sex industry. 

These gals often get a "bad rap" within the transgender community - not unlike their genetic girl "sisters" that work as strippers, escorts, & porn stars. Why the conflict? Because in one facet or another, all t-girls eventually face challenges in getting the "general public" (or a loved one) to understand and accept - alternative gender expression - is less about sex - and more about sexuality expression. She-Male pornographic stars can "muddy" this process.

However, we tend to go a little "overboard" - in distancing ourselves from these wonderful sisters. I've yet to meet a t-girl or admirer - regardless of how " well adjusted" they are presently - that didn't at least begin their "journey" - by enjoying graphic images of these lovely gals. 

All in all, I've found she-males to be the most balanced and happy members of the transgender community. Why? Who knows - but I suspect it has a lot to do with accepting yourself the way you really are - versus trying to be something you never will be.

Turning anyone away because of their "lifestyle" - doesn't bode well for the transgender community. And shunning these gals - borders on some pretty serious h-y-p-o-c-r-i-s-y. It's sort of like growing up with a "big sister" - that looked after you well in your early years - and subsequently rejecting her now that you're "all grown up" - because you don't respect her current occupation. Personally, I respect "myself" too much to ever do that!

I have a number of "she-male" girlfriends - and have generally found them to be some of the most "well adjusted" - and coolest - t-girls on the planet.

Transgenderist - TG: "Transgenderism" has become somewhat of a generic term to describe "all of us". However, I am going to classify a "transgender" or "TG" - as a person who gains no erotic stimulation from being dressed and has no definitive plans for altering sexual identity on a full time basis - yet - has a strong affiliation with "her" female side - and must express it . 

Did you "get" the difference between a "CD/TV" and a "TG"? Most of the people in the former categories don attire primarily for erotic stimulation. Conversely, a TG rarely gets a sexual "thrill" from donning female attire. However, most would agree they are always "thrilled" to be dressed. "Transforming" causes "her" - to feel more in touch with "his" feminine persona.

Most TG's develop a second "feminine self" - or cross gendered identity - which they fit into their everyday lives on a challenging basis. They will usually give her "a name" (i.e. Renee Reyes) - and begin molding a personality for her as well.

This "group" has been growing geometrically in recent years. Why? Simple - the Internet. The Web has created a powerful yet discreet forum for men to explore their female side. "Gals" first discover they are not alone in this need. They visit home pages of girls from all walks of life - and find there are people "just like them" - who have felt the same way over the years. 

Second comes the Internet's ease of access to information regarding "how to dress/transform". Many gals who would have certainly remained TV's indefinitely - are dressing more often and losing the basic sexual excitement associated with dressing - in favor of a "closeness" to their femininity. I wouldn't be surprised if the time it takes them to look really hot - isn't playing a role as well. Nothing like an hour and a half "layover" in front of a makeover mirror - to take the edge off any erection. *Laugh*

I'm seeing more & more of what I call "highly accomplished" transgenders - or "transgenderists".  Why? First, it is much easier to live life " in the middle" of both male & female than in the past. This has caused many "transsexuals" to find contentment enjoying their feminine side on a part time basis - without having to face the often horrid disruptions amongst friends, jobs, and family - of transitioning to full-time femininity. 

Many pursue less prominent body alterations such as permanent body hair removal - but for one or a combination of reasons - she will never live full-time as a gal. Her hesitation could be economic enjoyment, familial pressures, children, self worth issues - the list is virtually endless.

Only time will tell if this option will become a "wave of the future" - or simply a "phase of development".

Transsexual - 1 - TS1: A TS-1 is a gal who lives full-time as a woman and perhaps has some sort of major body alterations through hormones, breast augmentation, etc. - but has no definitive plans for "comprehensive" sexual reassignment surgery. To put it bluntly, they look and live totally as women - but still have a penis. Carefully balanced hormonal therapy and dealing with the process of transitioning to full-time womanhood can cause this gal to be amongst the happiest and most well adjusted member of the t-girl community.

The earliest pioneers in the t-girl world, often abused hormonal therapy to a point where their penis become of no consequence in sexual pleasure. I've known more than one person from this category who would have preferred to stay in this "group" - but opted for complete sexual reassignment due to a feeling of inadequacy. Few that choose such a path - are ever satisfied.

Why? Here's a secret, hon. Sexual satisfaction is important to anyone's happiness! I know more gals than I wish to recall - that although they enjoy being full time females - really miss the sexual bliss from male climaxes. Does this make them more male? No way! It makes them perfectly human!

Unfortunately, we still have a lot of newer gals that "jump" to hormonal therapy before they've considered all the consequences of their actions - or the dosages they consume. Their actions are more a function of feelings of feminine inadequacy - versus feminine identity. 

If you're on the fence of such "development", please consider these implications. Do you judge the women you admire most in life by the size of their breasts or hips? Come on sister...be smart!

Transsexual - 2 /GRS/SRS: I define a "Transsexual-2" or GRS/SRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery / Sexual Reassignment Surgery) as a person who feels absolutely no identification with the gender of which they were born - and takes definitive action to "transition" this identity (both physically & in every day affairs) into the opposite gender. 

The reality is that less than 5% of all transsexual candidates - including those that have completed SRS actually fall into "this" category. Yet, about 95% of the community "contends" they're the ones that are part of the small. limited percentage. Why? Probably for validation - and a belief that whoever is in that 5% is someone better - than other transsexuals. Hierarchies tend to make good liars out of all of us.

Most people - would even view the "order" in which this list of definitions is arranged as some form of hierarchy. I - do not. 

I believe they'll come a time when it really won't matter - and we'll focus on just being "people" versus transsexuals - or women. Sadly, I've got a feeling that "day" - is not time soon. 

I have a number of good friends in this group. Of the few I know that are very happy, I've witnessed one common trait. They absolutely love themselves - and that confidence is evident from the first moment you are around them. Likewise, of those I know who've endured this process that are unhappy - it was evident from the onset they lacked self esteem - and were using their gender as a crutch for "why". 

I know a couple of others that simply wish they had stopped at the TS-1 stage - with better hormone therapy advice - for the purpose of long term sexual satisfaction. 

which one are we/you?

Did you find yourself or someone you know in any of these "labels"? Personally, I hate labels. I've been called many "labels" over the years - and few were overly complimentary. However, I felt it was important to set some basic definitions for terminology that I will use throughout my home page. 

I find a recurring problem within the variety of "labeling" that occurs both within the "everyday" and "clinical" worlds of transsexualism. What's the problem? Most clinical "definitions" are arranged in a hierarchy format - causing many gals "to lie" - in an attempt to reach a what they believe is the "ultimate" diagnosis. My suggestion? Reverse the order - of what is labeled "gold" - and what's considered "pyrite". Of course, I'm referring to giving each person a means of achieving more adequate "recognition" and "positive vibes" - regarding their alternative feminine self. 

Some gender related therapists seem to get off on the power trip afforded them by "controlling the gateway" to comprehensive feminine development. I certainly respect their caution - as many of the "applicants" are far from suited for full transition. However, in the process of trying to evaluate if the cup in front of them is "half full" - or half empty - they often forget to simply provide the patient with a f***ing glass of water. 

Many gender related psychological tests tend to narrowly classify t-girls - without providing any positive & tangible alternatives. Many "newer" gals who start counseling - feel they are most certainly "TS-1/2" - when in reality - they are not. Why? Two primary reasons. First, they rightfully understand their feminine identity to be much deeper rooted than a "TV". However, they lack "positive alternatives" to identify with. It's sort of like asking them to choose between being a Rolls Royce or a Used Hyundai. "Come on"! Where's the Jaguar - or Ferrari?  

Until these classifications are adjusted - and enough "role models" are developed within each category where a person can stop and say: "Hey, she's awesome, and she's just like me" - this will continue to be a problem. I believe the freedom of communication from the Internet will bridge this shortcoming to a degree in the interim. 

Second, many "I'm a TS" newcomers - are really - transgendered - with a somewhat unhappy male life. Often this lack of contentment in "being male" - is due to their inability to explore their transgendered nature - hence they believe they are most certainly "all female" - due to the pressure from pent up desire to express their womanhood. 

By taking the time to explore their feminine nature in a sane & healthy manner - many find solace between the two genders.

fairness in labeling laws

Unfortunately, without any process of "certification" within the tranz-community - you are going to find a bit of "mislabeling" within our little world. Why does this happen? First, gals are pretty much left to their own devices to describe the type of t-girl they are. Many are as confused as a layperson on where they "really stand" in this process.

Additionally, "certain" TV's & CD's will classify themselves as a "TS" -  to attract attention. It's really not surprising, as TV/CD's - by their very nature - identify with their t-girl status from a sexual plane. We all know what happens when one mixes sexual desire with anything even "part male" - it lies! LOL 

The harm caused by this action is toward gals who have worked so very hard in getting people to understand that transsexuality is not really based upon "erotica" - but rather - sexual identity. People with an erotic agenda who classify themselves as "TS" - do little to help this cause. If you are one of these people - please keep this potential damage in mind. ((hugs))

There exist a variety of psychological tests which "classify" gals by category. However, it's been my experience these evaluations are a "bit dated" - relative to the current explosion of growth within the t-world. I could very easily double the size of the list of definitions regarding t-gals with more exacting descriptions - and means of therapy - and I'm far from an expert. 

I suspect we'll see much better methods of analysis and counseling for successfully melding a t-life in the years ahead. 

do you know a t-girl?

So who are the guys who are wearing panties under their three-pieced suits? I've found there to be absolutely no barriers by typical "sorting methods" such as age, geography, socio-economic status, cultural issues, etc. T-girls run the gamut - within all walks of life.

You likely know a t-girl very well. It could be your assistant - or your boss. It could be your most hated enemy - or your best friend. It could be your janitor - or your US Senator. Until the "classification" of t-girls moves beyond that of a "sexual deviation" - and into that of a sexual identity - as uneventful as "male" & "female - you'll never know who amongst the people around you is "T". We usually gain little - and lose a lot - by sharing our transgendered nature with others.    

One thing you'll quickly discern is these "girls" are not air heads They tend to have very high IQ's. The average person who goes through with a sex change operation is about three sig above the mean - or about 145 IQ. The average "TV" is about one sig above the mean. This high level of intelligence often equates typically equates to a fun person - with a very mischievous mind. ::))

Being a t-girl tends to develop a more well rounded individual. Most importantly: we learn why it takes three hours for women to get ready to "go out". *Grin* For all you guys that have been wondering about the answer to this age old mystery - here it is. It "really" only takes a woman about 15 minutes to get "ready". The other 2 hours and 45 minutes is spent "fixing" - what she screwed up in those first 15 minutes. LOL 

Honestly, that's closer to the truth than you'll ever understand - until you try it. *smile* 

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