"Why We Do It..."

  do you think 6" heels are comfortable?

Do you think those "ultra" high heels you see in my photos are comfy on my feet? You've got to be kidding. They hurt like hell!! It took a long time to learn how to walk in them without busting my behind - much less dance and have some fun - while wearing them. 

In reality, my heels are "comfortable" - to my inner soul - and its need to express "her". "Renee" has many needs regarding gender expression - and an equal number of options in how she accomplishes that goal. So why does Renee and so many of her sisters across the globe go through all the hassle, ridicule, frustration and worn feet? Pour a fresh cup of coffee and read on - I'll share what I've learned in the matter. ((hugs)) 

why we do it

Following are a couple of links which will take you to a virtual army of sites regarding more detailed study about t-girls and the issue of alternative gender identity expression. 

Links to Links" in Matters of T-girls 

More "Links to Links" in Matters of T-girls

Unfortunately, there really hasn't yet been adequate research for anyone to state with absolute authority "why" some men feel a strong need to express an alternative gender. This lack of quality research is hindered by the small number of guys that will profess  - to even the most anonymous of sources - they enjoy wearing panties. We're taught from the word "go" - that anything that strikes remotely as "feminine" - is a "no no" for us men. 

Some theories "on why" are based in biology, others focus on hormonal activity - and of course - no form of sexual expression would be complete without a few words from "reverend" Freud. Naturally, Renee has an opinion on this matter. I'm sure that is a shock to all of you! LOL

I have personally known thousands of t-girls and followed the progress of many from simple crossdressing - to full blown transition - including surgical reassignment. I've also had the sad experience knowing a few gals who both attempted - and succeeded - in suicide, upon determining they made "an error" in fully changing their gender identity.

All in all, I've come to the conclusion that both hereditary and environmental factors play a role in "why" we dress. In some instances, one of these inputs is more dramatic than the other - depending upon the person involved. However, I'm of the opinion that a large majority of all males are transgendered. A preponderance of all males? Does that opinion sound like a person who has recently discovered "religion" - and is convinced most others are as "damned" as they are? Perhaps - yeah, probably so. However, before you pass judgment on my assessment hear me out.

reasons for the large number of "gals"

Traditional estimates place men who are in some way transgendered at between 5-10% of the total male population. Renee's take on it? Try 50%+. Why such a large "disagreement" between Renee and the army of psychologists? First, I've had too many frank discussions with men regarding "some" potential desire to don feminine clothing. I've found very few who profess otherwise. 

I doubt we'll ever get an accurate picture of how large this segment. Why? Because admitting such desires is viewed as too shameful to most males. However, I'm betting if I did the interviews, I could get over 50% of any basic group of men to admit this interest. (My lifetime average is 73%) Why? Because I know how to make them feel its okay to admit an interest on a one on one basis. I know how to take away the fear, anguish, frustration and humiliation associated with even hinting of such a predication. 

I'm sure many of you are convinced I probably slant my questions where the respondent has no choice but to answer in a manner that reveals some type of transgenderism. I don't - I am a scientist by training. 

What about the balance of males who truly feel no need to express femininity in an alternative manner (dressing in some way)?  I believe these people to be the most "trans-gendered" of all. Why? Because the ones I've met, exhibit a glorious balance between male and female already. Their contentment between these two genders has been a source of jealousy for me on one or more occasion. They are - in effect - my hero's. *smile*

The overall lack of gender dysphasia amongst women - who already addressed and bested the challenge of assuming male roles and personas at the turn of the last century - supports my opinion.

 and...another reason why we dress

Beyond the more clinical reasons for "dressing" - is one that is often overlooked. Namely, it's called - "It's a shit-load more fun to be female - than male" LOL

Seriously, men often fail to recognize the importance of simply having "fun". They rarely "shop" - without a list in their hand (or in their mind). They rarely "laugh" - when they show any sign of weakness. And of course, they rarely get whistled at while wearing shorts. *grin*

I've seen more than one guy assign these newfound "pleasures" into "I want to be a full-time gal" - versus learning to meld them into his male persona. Don't feel bad if you can't do this. I'm included in this group of "male morons". It took me several years to feel "okay" - enjoying some of Renee's passions - as a guy.

Try being smarter than Renee on this issue - it makes life much simpler! ((hugs))

the rest of the story

Aside from the reasons I've shared above, there are a number of "additional" motivating factors for dressing as a gal. Following are Renee's Top Ten Reasons she'd rather be a t-girl - than either of the other two genders. I'm sure you have your own as well. Some are obviously meant as humor - others - are more "real" than you might first think. *Grin*

Number 10. We get to carry purses: Thank God!! I'm now convinced women have tried to keep purses a big secret from men. These things are awesome! *Smile*

Number 9. We get to have "PMS" - without the "Pads": Something about being "female" - just brings out "the bitch" in you now and then. The difference between expressing this feeling "as a guy" - versus as a girl - is that "a male" is considered a jerk when he acts unruly. As a woman - being a little bitchy...well...that's just part of being female. I love it!!!

Number 8. We get Invited to Better Parties: One benefit of being a t-girl in today's "accepting" world - is we are often considered to be on the cutting edge of "cool". Assuming you live in a large city - this often equates to making friends you might never have known otherwise. Renee has partied and become friends with some of the biggest names in Hollywood, the music industry, and the world of politics. I really doubt that "Mr. Reyes" would have made many such associations. I think that's pretty neat.

Number 7. We can Change our "Look" - in about 30 Seconds: It's so cool to change your hair color - or eye shape - at the drop of a wig or the wisp of eyeliner. Way too much fun! 

Number 6. We get to be "Taller": I'm 5'9 when I'm soaking wet. Basically, I'm the "average height" of most males in America. When I don 6" heels, I rise to 6'2! Jeez, I never realized how much I was missing. LOL. I see so many more things when I'm dressed for night clubbing in my spikes. There's a whole new world up there...*Grin*

Number 5. If all else Fails - we can go Home with "Ourselves": Sooner or later - I'm going to figure out how "Renee" & "Mr. R" can learn how to have great sex "together". *Grin* Wouldn't that be great??!!

Number 4. Other People buy us Drinks: It is sooooo much cheaper when you go clubbing as a t-girl - than as a guy. Nothing like flashing the pearly whites and flicking the mane - to garner refills for an empty glass - at no cost!  Being a fairly "cheap bitch" at heart - this was extra special to me. LOL

Number 3. We get to Remain "Anonymous": It's pretty cool when you can "go out and be you" - but nobody knows it's you. We sort of get to have "Halloween" - every weekend. You'd be surprised what you can learn about others - and life - in "cognito".

Number 2. We get to wear make up: Wow!! No wonder women look so good all the time - this stuff is awesome. Got a blemish? No problem! Hate those freckles on your nose? No worries! Wearing make up is like getting to rebuild the front end of a dented car before the buyer ever sees the damage.  

And the Number One Reason it's so Great being a T-Girl...

... The world - is still our Urinal!!! LOL 

the final analysis

There are a lot of theories floating around as to why "a man like me" feels a need to manifest an alternative gender. The rapid growth in the number of "active" t-girls occurring from the evolution of the Internet will challenge many of these ideas, create new ones - and validate others. 

It's been my experience that many researchers - and the gender related counselors of which they provide data - are a little out of touch with the dynamic growth that is occurring. Too many opt to pull out the old time text version "answers". Few have exhibited the effort to challenge these prior axioms with fresh thought. Likewise, I commend and encourage those maverick's who are recognizing the new issues - and opportunities - on the horizon.

I believe we will reach a point of universal understanding regarding transgenderism in the years ahead - but I suspect Renee will be long gone before this occurs. 

Fortunately, even without these studies - we have already have a "cure" for transgenderism in today's world -

If you'll "try" for one single moment - to not first judge others by race, creed, sexual orientation - or gender expression....but simply accept them - "the way they are" - you'll get to know some of the most brilliant and coolest people on the planet earth. I promise!! ((hugs))

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