the admirer's handbook
"Paratrexuality"
sorting out your newfound
sexuality
Paratrexual, huh?
Yeah, I agree: sounds a bit too much like some parasitic organism or prehistoric man-eater. While the latter sounds potentially alluring...can't say I'd find solace in being called: a paratrexual. Tell you what: we'll just stick to calling this unique attraction: paratrexuality...and leave the "admirer" title in place until we discover a more suitable synonym.
Next step? If you're going to be a bona-fide member of any group? The world requires you be duly classified. Fun, huh? God, what's wrong with our species & it's never-ending need for labels?
Whatever...how about if we just begin the process of finding you a comfy place in this strange new world?
primary points of differentiation amongst admirers
There's a lot of common ground amongst those drawn to transgenders. Most importantly? Many knew there was something very special about the attraction from their first encounter with a transgender.
Alas, there's also some differences between one admirer & the next. Such distinctions impact what sort of tranz-person best matches with each admirer. What are the most notable variations?
These points of differentiation play a big role in how each admirer makes transgender desires fit into their life. In this section we'll delve into the role of age, experience & social norms in this process. In our next section? We'll more fully explore the differences between male & female admirers plus some unique subsets of each gender.
the buck stops here?
One issue that doesn't seem at issue?
Socioeconomic variations.
Men tend to compare themselves by power, money or prestige almost as much as women match up family, beauty & more beauty. Are fiscal dissimilarities a source for disparity in desire or interests in transgenders?
Not based on my observations.
A byproduct of my high visibility & background? I encounter tons of higher-profile personas with concealed tranz-interest & cross-dressing habits. Additionally, I'm renowned for never outing anyone - even through casual conversation. The result? I take more confessions than all the Taxi cabs on HBO.
I'm specifically aware of gender issues amongst heads of America's largest companies, several of Hollywood's leading men & women...and of course: leaders in our nations capital. Each shed the same tears of frustration & expressed an identical sense of isolation as every Joe-Schmoe I know in Atlanta. Additional money & power increases one's access to resources. Unfortunately, it also increases the level of risk from scrutiny.
Wealthy & powerful versus blue collar & anonymous? Sounds like 6:5 versus pick 'em: we're all stuck with equally unstable footing on the same slippery slope. Let's move on...
beginner versus old-hat
Perhaps the most compelling difference between one admirer & the next? Their degree of experience with transgenders. As with their tranz-counterparts, the length of time one's been aware of this desire isn't as important as the sheer number of hours invested in hands-on experience...no pun intended. *Grin*
I'd say there's about three basic levels of familiarity with tranz-women.
Beginners
Intermediates
Advanced
Naturally, some people are situated between these levels. A notable anecdote to this list? It should never be your ambition to attain new levels: it's not a hierarchy. Rather, it's a description of transgender admirer lifestyles. As with the girls themselves, the goal is unearthing your optimal degree of involvement based on your own wiring.
You got it: we're talking about balance. Find the right equation for your happiness? You win.
how old are you?
Age plays a pretty big part in how one deals with transgender attraction issues.
Why's that?
Because there's substantial variations in social norms between generations. Most often, men & women just now in their twenties grew up going to school with classmates that were openly gay. People two & three times that age? Openly gay people pretty much got their asses kicked.
Similarly, geographical norms play a role in this process. For instance? I grew up in a small town in western Kentucky. Being transgender was not an ideal circumstance. The sense of shame associated with these norms impacted me for many years. Guess what? It would still be highly problematic if I were a teen in Owensboro, KY. In Atlanta? Challenging...but not nearly as difficult. Obviously, these influences are fixable...look at me. *Laugh* However, childhood precursors continue to impact one's public comfort with transgender attraction throughout life.
Of course, we're not talking about gays: we're discussing transgenders. Alas, in the eyes of the public - these two terms are nearly synonymous when it comes to sexual & intimate attraction. Therefore, the norms associated with them are nearly identical.
On the opposite side of the age-coin? There's maturity and a recognition that this thing called life doesn't last forever. If transgender attraction is a compelling part of one's persona they'll usually eventually get to the f***-it point. In other words? A man's 'gotta do...what a man's 'gotta do. *Laugh*
social norms: present conditions
One's current situation is the most immediate variable between one admirer & the next.
Are you married or single? Does your family live nearby & would they have a serious problem with your pursuits? Is your career impacted by your personal life? Do you live in a larger city or are you situated in a more remote location? In each of these instances, the norms surrounding alternative relationships are different.
This is one variable that given enough time...can always be changed. I've seen men alter these circumstances solely based upon overwhelming transgender desires. For example? Supply & demand makes the likelihood of intermediate or advanced admirers situated in sparsely populated areas ever meeting a nearby compatible partner less likely. Alas, it's rare for a tranz-female to reside in a small town because of prejudicial issues. For intermediates? They just fit their desires into travel plans. For those where transgender desire is essential? It's often like their transgender counterpart. Move...or live a life of misery.
Present conditions are the most compelling today...yet the easiest to alter over the long haul.
transgender wiring
Finally, we have variations in a person's wiring. In other words? Varied degrees of attraction implanted by Mother Nature. This aspect is presently impossible to accurately measure but I believe as with transgender females: it exists. Only time & experience coupled with intensity of desire can illuminate it's degree.
where are we going with all this?
So where are we headed with all this babble?
Next we'll explore the impact of gender amongst tranz-admirers? Do men & women approach transgender interests differently? Yep...they sure do.
After that?
We'll investigate the various types of tranz-females & what makes each one tick. Finally, we'll overlay the points of differentiation between admirers & gals to create a basic matrix for admirers & t-girls to connect.
I like the sound of that... don't you?
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