"Do You Think We're Different?" 

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I never anticipated the degree of interest this admirer-tips section would garner from you guys. Honestly, my initial motivation was not as much to assist you - but rather...to help my sisters enjoy better dates. *Smile* 

Still,

I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for admirers. Why? First, I started in your shoes - as an admirer. I understand all too well the hazards, challenges, and common misconceptions beginning admirers face. Having now spent lots of years on the other bar stool? I can state the following with absolute confidence: "Those of you who are sharp and sincere?"  You don't have much competition. *Grin* 

Second, I think most t-girls fail to recognize or even appreciate the powerful role such people play in the overall balance of the tranz-ecosystem. Ya'll do a lot. Most importantly? You provide validation that we're presenting as female. For beginning tranz-women this validation is crucial to her sense of progress: as a girl. Other tranz-girls & women are equally important for us to impress & receive similar validation. Alas, these last two audiences are harder to impress. But male admirers? Definitely the most powerful source of female affirmation on the planet.

Know what else? T-girls and their male admirers have a great deal more in common than first meets the eye. 

Throughout my web site, I spent a good bit of bandwidth discussing t-girls - and what makes them unique. Likewise, I just disclosed the various types of admirers and what motivates each of their needs. Now, for both fun and benefit: I'm going to talk about traits both admirers and t-girls share.  have in common. And how these common characteristics can yield great relationships.

Should be interesting... *Smile*

silky sisters

T-girl admirers and the objects of their affections have a great deal in common. 

Certainly, a lot of this shared harmony has to do with the fact many male admirers are actually cross-dressers at heart. Most stay in the admirer role because they believe they could never look even remotely feminine. Thus, they're attracted to t-girls in a sort of symbiotic relationship that fulfills their personal need to express a desire to dress. Weird, huh?

Years ago, my old friend Anna Christopher  told me she polled a group of her male members at her pay site and ascertained that only about 20% had any interest in dressing. Personally, I don't buy this number. I would place it more like 70% - if we got  them to be totally honest. As I recall, she asked the question in a group chat format: not exactly the idea place for a masculine ego to lower its guard.

Like their t-girl counterparts, admirers that secretly desire to dress come in all shapes and sizes. For instance, some are only mildly interested in expressing their feminine side - and simply enjoy an occasional moment in the wife's pantyhose or silky undergarments. For others, their greatest fantasies revolve around being dressed as a gal - and having sex (often somewhat forcefully) with one or more beautiful (and very functional) transsexuals. The rest usually fall some place in between these two extremes - depending upon their mood.

the most powerful common ground

Here's a little reality check. We t-girls faced very similar challenges in our own path to tranz-sexual discovery. You've probably spent as much intensity fretting over your tranz-desires as we did about putting on our dresses. You've worried just as much about someone finding your little stash of tranz-pornography (magazines, on-line images and video's) - as we did (or do) about getting our silk panties located. You see, we actually have more in common than first meets the eye.  

Not every admirer has a desire to dress. And such a shared desire is far from the only parallel shared between t-girls and their male admirers. The most compelling bond is actually the most simple. Namely, they both feel a strong need to express an alternative sexual lifestyle - and they both did not choose to be - the way they are. Know what I mean? I did not choose to be a guy who prefers to look and appear as a woman. 

I don't necessarily dislike this inner need - but my life would be a lot simpler without it. It's been with me as long as I can recall. In fact, I honestly don't recall not doing this. I can easily recollect praying for my sex to change - each night before I went to bed - when I was just five years old. Can you imagine what it felt like to be captain of my high school football team - and in reality - I secretly prayed I was a cheerleader? It was very confusing - and felt shameful. 

Likewise, based upon candid personal interviews with t-admirers, I don't believe any of them chose to be attracted  to us gals. I'm sure most would agree their lives would be much simpler without this desire as well. 

Most admirers don't usually recognize this unique longing as early in life as we t-girls do. For the male admirer, t-girl attraction is usually like a waiting time bomb. This facet of their sexual palette ticks away silently - and explodes - the first time they see a lovely t-girl.

I've never met an admirer who really required convincing - that he was attracted to transsexuals. Oh sure, many require a period of time to adjust to this need - before they actually proceed with their desires. However, they knew they had this desire - from the first moment they came in contact with a girl. 

When a certified admirer first sees a tranny - he knows. Even if his mind won't own up to this hankering - his friend below his belt - will make it clear in rapid fashion. *Smile* Those men that have no such attraction - generally find what we gals do either - disgusting - or humorous. 

forever more

Can this tranz-lust be altered? I don't think so. All in all - like with us t-girls - it appears to be a lifetime deal. I have yet to meet a man who was once - sexually attracted to t-girls - and then subsequently shifted this desire. For most - being sexually drawn to members of the transgender community is just who they are - sexually speaking.

There are a select few using it as a crutch for actually being gay. However, since we now live in a world where confessing the fact  you are gay - is really not that big of a deal anymore - few men require the t-girl stepping stone process - to make their way out of the closet.

typical beginnings

With a bit of memory jogging, most admirers can actually recall the first time they ever saw a t-girl's graphic image. Almost all, can recall in vivid detail - their first such face to face encounter.

The following letter is typical of initial attraction and fascination by a certified admirer. I've received countless letters of a similar nature - but this one arrived just as I was drafting this section. Its inclusion seemed appropriate. 

Dear Renee,

My name is Ali. I have a story to share that has turned into a dilemma for me. I was in the navy a few years ago and we were visiting Thailand. It was my 5th time there, and I had never really had any close contact with any t-girls.

I was having fun at a regular bar when out of nowhere, an argument broke out between the the lady boys from the cabaret bar next door, and the girls at my bar. I told them that I would bring some guys to their bar (the ladyboys) to buy some drinks and chill everyone off

I go next door to the cabaret and I see the most beautiful intriguing woman I have every seen in my life. She was a pro (as you call them) and she was a "Katoey" - or t girl as they are called in Thailand. She could sense my interest. I have never thought of being with a man but this Asian t-girl just killed me.

We were speaking to each other with our eyes. Then she came and sat next to me and said "hello" in a not so passable voice. We talked for around about twenty minutes and the only way I got away with it, is because she was so feminine and most of the guys were clueless. I kissed her for around ten minutes in a secluded area of the club. I told her I had to be with her. She told me she was only a dancer and she didn't do that stuff, but she would still like to see me. So the next day, I went back. She never showed and I almost got caught( that would have been a disaster for my navy career). I returned my last day in Thailand and she was there and apologetic. She was also ready to go, but this time I couldn't because there were too many eyes watching.

To make a long story short I was never with her. That was 3 1/2 years ago and I have only had sex once since then. That was with a normal woman. Don't get me wrong I am a good looking guy that actually gets constant offers from good looking women. It is just that they don't excite me the way "Li Li" - the Thai t-girl did. I've pretty much lost interest in normal women. However, I have no interest in men.

Renee, could you please share your insight into my situation? I could really use some guidance.

Sincerely,

Ali

Ali's story is not unique - although the actual indoctrination process may vary. For most, first contact typically occurs via pornography. So what do you do when you discover you have this desire - and it just won't seem to let go? 

Read on, sweetheart...

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