"Cliff Notes on T-Girl Psychology"

  who am i?
Been dressing and exploring your female side for a number of years? Me too. Since I have no intention of going further with my "femininity" from a medical standpoint - I'm stuck orbiting the same piece of real estate I started with - Renee & "That Guy". 

You'd think after all this time, I would have memorized every landmine on this private piece of real estate known as "my life". Unfortunately, I continue to break nails, get runners in my hose, and bust heels - on the same old emotional obstacles. It seems to be my lot in life to repeat mistakes. In fact, if there were an award for such - I'm sure I'd take the crown. 

I've worked up a personal "roadmap" of sorts to cut down on repeat performances. As cumbersome as it might seem, I'd suggest you do something similar. Most of us spend more time planning our two week vacations each year - than we do "our lives". 

The first step in mapping your mission is determining exactly "who you are". That's a tougher assignment than meets the eye. Second, you'll want to get a handle on "where you are today" - regardless how unhappy that might make you. Finally, you'll want to evaluate "where you want to go". That's usually a bit more fun - and less tiring than the former.

Sound heavy duty? You might be surprised how enjoyable it can be. I'm going to walk you through where I'm at in this "process", what I've learned along the way, and where I'm still having trouble. 

Perhaps you'll find a bit of yourself in my mirror. If so, you have my sincere condolences!!!  LOL

the psychology of renee

Like most gals, I started off under the assumption that "Renee" & "Him" - were sort of like two different people. They certainly "acted" different, no doubt they "dressed" different - plus "he" never wears eyeliner - they must be different! At best - I considered them "cousins of the same soul" - but not much more akin than blood relatives.

I owe my dear friend Katrinka for helping set me on the path of "psychological righteousness" regarding Renee. The reality is that each of us share a variety of personalities - and certain ones come to the "forefront" at different times. For example: I act a bit different when I'm horsing with my old high school chums, than I do with my lawyers. Part of this difference is the change in environment - but another function is that a more relaxed personality "rises to the surface". 

While I'm working on writing this web page or developing a new venture, yet another persona takes the pilot's seat. He/She is very organized - and focused on perfecting every detail. All in all, I've identified about six key components to the person you know as "Renee" - and they are identical to those shared by "Mr. R". The difference between them - is which ones tend to rise to "prominence" - when I'm adorned "in silk dresses" - versus silk neckties.

I've given each of my persona's a "name" - to help me better identify with them. Each personality's "sex" is really of no consequence - relative to my transgenderism. I have female named persona's that rarely even show up when Renee is having her time - and vice versa. For example, Vickie is the name I've given to the personality who seeks very wild sexual activities. When "Vickie" is in one of her "moods", even the postman isn't safe. LOL However, Vickie is around just as often with my male side as well. She has nothing to do with crossdressing, et. al. "She" is just a fictitious character I created to describe that insane desires I have on occasion. Get it?? Good! Now explain it to me and we'll both understand it! *Grin*

Following is a list of the basic persona's that make up "me": 

Max: He's my administrator and never leaves the picture. He plans constantly and is a master strategist,  I was a world rated chess player at 12 years old - that was Max at his best. My life at 12 was far less complicated  than at present. Thus, he focused most of his attention on those sixty four squares. Today, most any 12 year old can beat me in a game of chess. Max seems to have lost interest - another one of his habits - he decides "what he wants to evaluate". 

Max can take the leadership role in my personality - but he rarely does when my friends are around. If he does grab the "forefront" - it's usually a very friendly exchange with whichever persona was "in charge" at the time. All my personas call upon him to solve complex puzzles. 

I've begun to notice he will even "create" complex situations when he gets bored - just so he can solve them. This nasty habit has caused me grief on occasion. He cares little about implementing the resolution to a problem once he has deduced the solution. He's pretty much an arm chair detective reminding me of "Mycroft" - Sherlock Holmes older brother.

Vickie: Vickie is a very domineering persona - border lining on "rude". She is self assured, very quick on her feet, and quick to anger. She has a solution to every problem in the world - but of course - she is wrong as much as she is right. Vickie requires sufficient sleep and good health to be most effective. Without these components, she lacks the fuel to "be herself". She needs "recognition", but will work hard to get it. 

Vickie wants everything done yesterday. She gets quite angry at other personas for letting any goal of hers get behind schedule. She does not take criticism well from others - or from my other different personas. If "she" shows up in one of my business meetings - my visible creativity tends to reach incredible levels. She will lie to get what she wants - but not if she thinks it will hurt someone else.

Vickie is also my "sexual adventurer". This gal thinks sex is a gift that should be "torn open" as soon as the Christmas tree goes up after Thanksgiving. She has little concern about how little she might have on Santa Day. Here motto is simple - and predictable: "More is better - now!!"

Felix: Felix categorizes and assembles data. He rarely talks and almost never takes front and center. Vickie uses his skill set to make her look good. He provides her with substantial amounts of "hard data" - to let her bullshit her way out of many jams. He doesn't like her at times, but admires her greatly. He gets angry at the hours he must put in cleaning up her messes and overzealous timetable promises. However, he knows how badly she needs him. Her gift of gab keeps him feeling good. Felix and Max are real chums and have a blast dissecting highly complex issues that leave others baffled. 

He is interested in all my personas being happy - as that in its very nature - means order. Felix thrives on all things being in their proper place in the universe - but he can come up with some fairly clever places to put things.

Sam: Sam is really a unisex personality. Sam wants sex all the time. He / she is more influential in what happens in my daily life than the "others" like to concede. He gets addicted to sensation, but rarely enjoys himself unless his sexual partners are satisfied. If I go through a series of bad sexual adventures, Sam will insist on no further "extra-human" contact for a period of time - and focus on masturbation and intense inner fantasy fulfillment. Sam often grabs the forefront when my body is tired and the other personalities are lounging - wasting needed sleep time on his quest for sexual satisfaction. 

Eileen: Eileen is interested in warm relationships with others. She is less a dominant player than my other personas. However, when she is in the forefront - she makes her needs clear and gets what she wants. The others shift her to the "back" more than she likes - and she is quick to remind them of the fun they just had with her at the steering wheel. 

Unfortunately, between Vickie's never ending goals, Felix's responsibility in cataloging the ever growing new projects created by Vickie, and Max's attempts to maintain control with some sort of master scheme - she often is taken out of power once no real "social" forefront is present. 

If the "others" feel a social function is of no real consequence - or they have goals they want addressed - she rarely even gets heard regarding on her ideas.

the final analysis

So...do I sound more like "Sybil" -  than "Renee"?  Well before you decide to go make a fortune writing a book on all Renee's personalities, try thinking through your own mannerisms and motivations as well. You might be surprised to discover there is more than one persona on your plate too. 

I believe it's very important to become acquainted with the dynamic aspects of that small gray mass situated between your ears. Knowing yourself - and what makes you do the things you do - is the first step towards knowing best what will make you happy. 

© Copyright 2000-2002 by ReneeReyes.com

All Rights Reserved.

Key Search Words:

Renee Reyes, Transgender, Transgenderism,

T-Girl, T-Girls, Transsexuals, TS, Transvestite, TV,

CrossDressers, Crossdressing, Atlanta, Georgia