Meeting a T-girl - Long Term Relationships

the admirer's handbook

"Long Term Tranz-lations"

moving from the sofa - to her heart

Before you take a single step towards embracing transsexualism as part of your everyday life - you must first ask yourself a very important question: "Are you really ready for this"? The reason your answer to this query is so important is that in many ways - "the world" is not. Thus, you will become a pioneer "of sorts". And as Andrew Carnegie so eloquently avowed years ago: "Pioneering - don't pay". *Smile*

Successful relationships between humans are "challenging" in the best of circumstances. This "one" has a host of additional tests. It requires a male who is very confident in himself, his sexuality - and his masculinity. Quite frankly - it requires that a man - be a man - through and through!

Sound tough? It is, honey. If you think you really want and need this unique relationship - and have the "stuff" to make it work - read on...

preface

To date, I've seen only a handful of successful "tranz-lationship models" to examine as your guide to happiness. The first, is the "part-time t-girl with the part-time t-girl admirer". The second, is the "full time t-girl with the full-time t-girl admirer". The last - are what I'll call "the smorgasbord" - as they are really the results - of the failure of these first two types to "work" successfully. I'm ignoring those relationships where a gal has completed surgical reassignment suregery. To me - she's now all female.

Ready for a closer look at each one? Let's get to it then! *Smile*

part-time "love"

These relationships are rare - but growing in number. Why? Simple. The number of attractive t-girls that will forever remain part-time women - is growing exponentially due to the internet. Likewise, the quantity (and quality) of admirers is swelling at an equal pace. And although these two halves don't necessarily make a "whole" (no pun intended) - each party can sometimes satisfy an unfulfilled need in their transgendered natures - through such a "relationship".

Many part-time t-girls - will never be attracted to a man - of any sort. However, "some" will seek such a relationship to fulfill "her" need to be more completely "a woman". Likewise, certain admirers will only be drawn to a gal with breast augmentation and silicone enhanced curves - as anything short of this feels too "male" for their palette. However, for many - this relationship offers the best opportunity both will ever have for "long term" tranz-sexual pleasure - on a part-time basis.

What sort of guy will an "accomplished" part-time gal be attracted to? More times than not - she will only want someone who is as "far along" in accepting their transgenderism as she is. Accepting "his" transgenderism? Did I lose you? *Smile* Sorry, hon. Stay with me...I'll try to put it in "real life" terminology.

Every weekend when I'm out at the nightclubs I feel the eyes of neophyte admirers on my body. I know what they are thinking - and what they would "like" to have happen. Why no sparks? Simple - we have very little in common.

I have endured a great number of challenges in my life to make my transgenderism fit smoothly into my everyday activities. Each of these experiences has "made" me the person - I am today. We all tend to get along best with others that are "most like ourselves". Thus, most part-time t-girls - that are highly skilled and balanced in their alternative gender - only tend to be attracted to males that possess a similar sense of balance, understanding, and acceptance of their own attraction to t-girls. Did that make any sense? Believe me, it's confusing to us too! *Smile*

Think about it. Most of you desire a t-girl who is "lovely and feminine". If she looks that good - you can be certain - she's endured some pretty challenging moments in her transgender development. You can't expect any gal "to fall" for you unless she believes you have a lot in common. And that commonality is often tied to her certainty that you've come far enough down the "t-road" to meet her "someplace in the middle".

How do admirers get "so far" in their transgenderism? By being around "the girls" - and getting comfortable with us "as people". We usually know if you have it "all balanced" from the first moment we talk with you. One facet of a guy who has attained balance with his transgender desires - is that he is not shy about "going out in public" with her. Most newcomers would prefer to keep this "little relationship" hidden in the darkest of rooms. However, why in God's name would a gal want to spend two hours + getting transformed - only to have no one else admire her effort - and simply have you "trash it" in some seedy hotel room? No thanks!! Like our female counterparts, we enjoy going out and having fun - and only want a man on our arm who is not embarrassed by his need - nor ours.

One thing's for certain. If your "friend" is not "full-time" and you are going to move further than a couple of dates - or a one night "fling" - it will become essential for you to eventually meet the other person in her life. Namely, her male "alter ego". Why? First off - for sheer practicality. If you are depending upon her to get "dressed" prior to every meeting - you are asking a lot. Second, if she has discretion issues in her home, she might need another place to dress "for you". Thus, sooner or later - you'll likely see "him". Some gals will go to great lengths to prevent this from ever happening - I'm one of them. Feminine egos are pretty "large structures" - and they are not always built on the sturdiest of "pavements". LOL

Regardless of how it might happen - get ready for a shock. Neophytes to the "before and after" look of a t-girl - usually freak out when they witness "the change". Rarely do we look anything like "girls" - under all that "stuff" Once you've been around it enough, you can actually "spot" most gals in or out of DRAG. However, some girls - you simply would never "peg" - except for their "eyes".

You will typically discover a very different person under all that lipstick and rouge. The "difference" is magnified in one's persona - versus personality. I've seen people be "lovers" as a t-girl / admirer - and "only friends" as males - with absolutely no sexual interest when "she" is not en femme. Only Mother Nature could have arranged such a bizarre mutual association. LOL

Whatever you do, try your best to hide any "disappointing" emotions you might experience. I've seen guys that simply can't deal with seeing "her" - as a guy. Once these types see a t-girl out of DRAG, they can never get that picture out of their minds - when they subsequently see her "dressed".

All in all - as in any successful relationship - being the ideal match for the person of your dreams - is the real key - to "finding" them.

dating a "full-time" gal

If you think you would like to make a t-girl more than an occasional fling - or only a part-time romance - there are a number of additional matters you must address within yourself, with her - and certainly with others in your life.

Do you think you're ready? That's great, honey. I think it can be a very special union. However, before you go any further I've got a couple of things I need you to do for me. First, I need you to go and get your best male friend, your brother, your boss, and your father - and ask them to come and help us with this little "analysis". Are they all there? Excellent! Now just ask them to take turns reading the following questions aloud to you - in a clear and abrupt manner:

"Are you a faggot, sweetheart?"

"Do you like the taste of a dick in your mouth in the mornings?"

"What exact kind of homo are you?"

"Do you take it in the ass - you sick fucking pervert?"

"I never thought you would end up being a queer."

Sorry to be so "graphic" - but welcome to the world of transsexualism. If you are going to be in a long term relationship with a t-girl - and do so publicly - you better get used to enduring some degrading comments regarding your sexual orientation. They will be far from accurate - but can really "sting" your sense of masculinity - not to mention your ego.

I've had each of these statements made to me - on more than one occasion - even from people I cared deeply for. It doesn't feel good. And understandably, it's this "little" stumbling block that hinders most masculine males from taking this relationship beyond the confines of a hotel room.

As much as many of you might think otherwise - being a full-time t-girl who doesn't desire to "cut off her thing" - is one of the toughest courses of life a person could possibly choose. It creates a massive barrier to developing meaningful long term relationships. Why? That's easy - because they have so few choices for real love that are appealing. For instance - most lesbians generally prefer that "she" eventually cut the "thing" off. Gays, as a general rule - prefer more masculine men - hence the definition "homo-sexual". Amongst the growing number of heterosexual men who are attracted to t-girls, few are willing to accept and deal with all the social unrest this relationship can stir. And with all these beginning limitations - we haven't even started talking about "good old fashioned" compatibility - a tough challenge in the best of circumstances.

Persecution from "friends and family" causes most guys to hesitate going all the way with this relationship. Unfortunately, we typically don't make the ideal girls to take home to "mom and dad". Adam's apples, deeper voices, and larger hands make it embarrassing for some to even take us to "non-friendly" restaurants. Some gals are so perfectly feminine they could easily "pass inspection" in the most demanding of environments. However, they are not the norm.

If you're going to establish a long term relationship on a full-time basis with a full-time transsexual - you are going to have to "live in" her world - and the many prejudices it includes. I liken the challenge to those which interracial couples endured in the 1950's.

Still - for true love and heart felt attraction - the cost of walking away from your one chance "at bliss" - is the same as living with no love at all. And as Kipling once stated far better than Renee ever could: "A life without love...is a living death".

the end...and the beginning

Okay boys, that's about all the "tips" I have for you. Thus my "ending" - is your beginning. The rest of your knowledge and understanding will have to occur through your own personal experiences - and exploration of your transgender desires.

If you're ever in Atlanta and see the Energizer T-Girl prancing around one of the local clubs - be sure and say "hello". I always enjoy chatting with those who have visited my web site. You'll likely never find a more "friendly" t-girl - to courteous individuals - than yours truly. *Smile*

May God bless each & everyone one of you in your quest towards happiness. There is no greater challenge - or more rewarding experience - than simply being...yourself. ((hugs))

Key Search Words:

Renee Reyes, Transgender, Transgenderism,

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CrossDressers, Crossdressing, Atlanta, Georgia