"Meeting On-Line"

  using your cpu to find her

Meeting on-line is a great way to find all sorts of t-girls, but it takes a lot longer to be successful than most newcomers realize. They often assume "girls" are starving for attention - most are not. You are typically in for a long process.

The first criteria to consider before pursuing this powerful new tool - is how adept you are at the written word. Even if you've got the best personality in the world, you are starting at a disadvantage if you can't manifest it with effective English. There is nothing worse than a heart-felt letter - chocked full of misspelled words, double negatives, etc.

However, if you are a little shy, if you tend to clam up in a bar setting, and if you can articulate your thoughts effectively on paper - this is perhaps your best option.

places to look

You probably know better than I were you can find t-girls on the internet. How did you find my home page? For starters, you can follow the links to thousands of girls, in the "galleries" section of my links area. You'll also find personal ads, stuff in newsgroups, and local publications in your city. Chat rooms are also a great place to meet girls. They offer the opportunity to chat first, then follow up with an e-mail relationship.

Jon and Vickie have one of the most comprehensive galleries on the internet. Recently, they've initiated an x-rated site which has taken more of their time. I really can't think of anyone who is more deserving of turning a profit from all of this and I wish them the very best! Visit both sites and I think you'll agree they are tops!!  This is a great site to visit home pages of other t-girls. They have the best selection of international girls on the net. 

meeting in tg chat rooms

There are a host of "chat rooms" situated all over the Internet. However, there are really only a couple dedicated specifically to girls like me. I've included a link to my personal favorite. Unlike most others, the girls you will meet there are by and large "real t-girls". If you visit very often, you'll eventually "meet" most every t-girl "active on line" at one point or another. Just click on the banner below:

Like every other chat room on the Web, you can talk both "publicly" and "privately". Rather than tell you what "not to do", I'll advise you on how to meet t-girls on-line, by suggesting you follow a style similar to that of "Larry from Toronto" - my favorite guy I've never met! Why is Larry and some of the other regulars of similar "style" so appealing?

He is always friendly - he always welcomes newcomers to the room regardless if they are fat, thin, have a picture or not, etc.

He is always courteous - he always responds to "hello's", comments and questions.

He is in the area often enough to where girls get to know him. You can't expect to walk into a strange room and have people just jump to meet you. I think you'll find a TG chat room to be one of the friendliest places you could ever visit. But if you hope to really get to know a t-girl, you are going to have to invest a little time.

He doesn't interrupt me. Sometimes, unbeknownst to others in the room, girls are having a private conversation with a dear friend with private messages. Could be a family matter, fem matter, or just some "girl talk". Sending uninvited "pm's" over and over, is a quick way to lose the interest of most any girl.

He doesn't throw out sexual innuendo's to girls he has never chatted with. There is a time and place to be "sexually" playful. It's rarely when you first meet a girl.

I have yet to have the pleasure of meeting Larry, but I can assure you when I do, it will be with open arms and a big smile - all because of his wonderful disposition in our chat rooms. I just hope his head doesn't swell too much when he reads this!

how to get noticed in tg chat rooms

A lot of newcomers get frustrated that others are ignoring them in the "chats". The first thing you must realize is that a large percentage of the girls are there to talk to one another, another percentage aren't into guys, - thus you are starting with a low percentage shot to begin with. Add to this fact nobody knows you from Adam - and you can see hoe you can get lost in the shuffle. 

There are things you can start with that can help. Both the chat rooms at the tg gallery and the tg forum offer the ability to include a "photo" as you chat. As with personal ads, people with photos get more attention than those who don't. If you are shy, use a picture from clip art or a magazine ad - but use something! 

Also, not including a link to an email address or a home page as you enter causes your "name" to be listed in a script that is less bold than those who do provide such a link. The former  - is often hard to "see" and your message can be missed - even when someone is looking for it. At the very least, go to "the introduction section" of the Gallery and learn how to cause your name to appear in bold by providing an email link. Any links - whether to a home page or email will cause your name to appear in bold print. This is quite helpful in a crowded room.

other "chat" pointers

Use your strengths. Got a great sense of humor? Get us all laughing. Are you great looking? Include a photo. Whatever your strength is - maximize it!!

Stay in your league: If you are a newcomer, with no experience in dealing with t-girls, chasing the best looking girl on the net is going to lower your chances of success.

Don't be crude: Don't send a crude private message to a girl you don't know. You've just ruined your chances of ever going further than that moment in one split second. Remember: girls talk to each other - goes with the territory. If you are a "jerk" to one girl, don't be too surprised if the rest of them pick up on it quickly.

Consider the time of day: Guys, when it's 8:00AM on a Monday morning and a gal drops in a chat room for some quick "hello's" - very few of them are seeking to get their panties pulled on. I know some of you are just "whoremongers" at heart - but let a girl down a cup of coffee first, will 'ya? If this is primarily a sexual "thing" to you - try to visit at night when gals are more in the mood for such banter. You'll do better. 

Finally, some people are just naturally friendlier than others. Remember, the "prettiest" girls often get "pmed" (private messages) to death when a room is crowded. Just because she doesn't get right back to you - doesn't mean you won't chat with her in the future. I know this to be true, because they are often too busy to talk with me. ::))

basic tg chat "lingo"

If you chat with a gal on-line, you will often see a variety of shortcut phrases known as "community acronyms" which might cause you confusion initially. Below are some of those most commonly used - and what they "mean".

"TG" - Transgender
"T-Girl" - That's us sweetie! A transgendered male - but we get called lots of things depending upon where we are in the process, where we are heading with our transformation, and who says it. (i.e. Transsexuals (TS); Transgender (TG); Transvestites (TV); Crossdressers (CD); Trannies; Girrls; Drag Queens; She-Males; Lady Boys, and yes, even the infamous: "Chicks with Dicks" (LOL).
"En Femme" - We are "en fem" when you are dressed as a woman. Aka "dressed".
"En Drab" - We are "en drab" when you are dressed as a man. Aka "Bubba".
"F/T' or "24/7" - As in if you are asking someone if they live "Full Time" as a woman - or 24 hours a day, 7 days a week".
"P/T" - A term for a girl that only dresses "Part Time".
"GF" - Slang for "girlfriend" - a friendly way of talking to another TG friend.
"GG" - GG is a "genetic girl" or "a girl born genetically as a woman". Also used as a complimentary term for an attractive tg.
"Admirer" - A person who is attracted to TG's.
"HRT" - "Hormone Replacement Therapy" - for girls who are taking hormones, and beginning the process of truly becoming a woman.
"SRS or GRS" - "Sexual / Gender Reassignment Surgery" - for TG's going "all the way" - know what I mean??

using your new vocabulary

Now, all you have to do is learn how to "write" or "talk" in such a strange manner. In context, a sample use of your new found lingo - would go something like the following:

"Do you know a T-Girl by the name of Renee Reyes? She's a TG GF of mine from Atlanta. Although she's P/T and en fem only about 10% of the time, she still looks totally GG. Her job keeps her en drab during the week. She hasn't started HRT and has no plans to go through SRS".

Sounds pretty cool, huh? And all true - except for that little "white lie" about me looking like a "GG". ::))

e-mailing home pages

Okay, you've surfed the net, viewed a bunch of girl's pages, and you've got a couple you feel you'd like to get to know better. Now what? Your first and best option is to send an e-mail to her. However, I'd suggest the following:

First, make certain you've read her home page enough to know what her "sexuality" preferences are. If she doesn't date guys, it is very unlikely a letter from a stranger is going to change her attitude - regardless how clever your are!! Note her likes and dislikes. Are they compatible with yours? 

Second, follow her instructions. If she prefers you contact her through a guest book, or asks that you include a photo in an e-mail, then not doing so is inviting a zero response.

Third, take the time to tell her about yourself. Sending a one line e-mail saying you are "interested" is a waste of cyber space. A lot of people are "interested"! Do you have any concept how much mail the better looking girls get? Do you think she is actually going to take the time to respond to such a query? Not likely, sweetie! A crude letter will only attract the sort of girl you could "live" without!

You have read her home page. You know a lot about her. If you are going to get her attention you need to let her know something about you...what makes you special, what specifically you are seeking, etc.

write a decent letter

One of the more common letters I get is: "Hi, my name is John Doe. I visit Atlanta often, and was hoping to maybe meet you for dinner or a drink. Please let me know if you are interested".

That actually sounds nice in its intent, but considering it takes me about three hours to get ready "en fem", am I going to get excited about responding to it? The writer has the opportunity (via my web page) to know a lot about me. He tells me nothing about himself - except he'd like to meet for a drink. Time is a very precious to most girls (remember, we've got two lives to live!). Sharing it with someone has got to seem like it will be worthwhile!

I know it takes time to write a "heart felt" letter. I also know it feels frustrating to invest time, and not get a response. However, it takes an investment to get any sort of return. Most girls are very nice, and will respond to anyone who takes the time to write a sincere letter - regardless if they feel you are a good match.

If you are in sales, you already know the time and cost of getting a good lead. You know not to take a rejection personally, and you realize getting an account is a percentage ball game. This same attitude is helpful in finding a t-girl on line.

moving forward

It is very difficult to develop any form of "real" relationship on an on line basis. It's a great place to meet someone - but if it goes too far by way of the CPU - you'll likely discover the relationship is lagging in other areas when you finally get together. If you would like to at least get the ball rolling, I'd suggest you follow the lead of the only person that "weaseled" his way into my heart from an on-line basis this past year: "Michael".

I met Michael in a tg chat room this past year. Our on line friendship lasted longer than one letter for a variety of reasons, including:

We had a lot in Common - Most admirers assume the fact I'm a t-girl - and you are attracted to t-girls - means we have something in common. It means little. As you look though a gals home page, I'm quite sure you are trying to discover "any" point of common ground - if she's a "knock out". However, you will likely only have a "chance" - if there is real "common ground".

He didn't focus on the "t-thing" - I know I'm a t-girl. You know I'm a t-girl. My entire home page talk about t-girls. Did it ever occur to you I might get sick of talking about t-girls? Michael talked about life interests, hobbies, outlooks, politics - and our mutual family ties (we both have Labrador retrievers). We talked about transgender issues - but not right off the start. 

He responded in kind - Nothing is more discerning than writing a long letter to someone, only to have them answer a major question with "yeah, me too". Michael took the time to share as much of his detailed feelings on items I obviously considered important. 

He kept things moving forward - Sometimes an on line friendship reaches a point of "where is this going"? Busy people like Renee have little time to "waste". Constantly bring up new discussion issues, ending letters with questions, and a great sense of humor that made his letters a pleasure to read played a key role in singling himself from the pack. 

He kept "beauty" as a footnote - Like any gal, I enjoy hearing I look good in someone else's eyes. But so many letter's focus on a constant triage about "how this I am" or "that I am" - and they don't know me from Eve. It really leaves me no place to go in responding. I know I'm not perfect (well, almost perfect) - LOL) Making me feel like I would need to be to be around you - is not very appealing.

I ended up meeting Michael during a trip to New York City in 1999. Unfortunately, I was tired, sick, 8 lbs overweight, and running very late - so I wasn't much fun. I still owe him an enjoyable night in return for his hospitality - and a beating - for dumping that psychotic DRAG Queen bartender in my lap who made certain I got no sleep back at my hotel room. ::)), 

personal ads

You will sometimes find girls with personal ads seeking specific situations at a variety of sites. As with most these situations, some will be very sincere and some will not. I have occasionally run ads with good success. However, I've had people tell me of "gals" they had gone to meet that turned out to be real lumberjacks. 

In general, if her ad is sincere - an equally sincere letter from you will get you the farthest. At the very least, you should include as much information as she did regarding herself, her interests, and her desires - in her ad. 

a few words on actually meeting your pen pal

You've exchanged correspondence. You've perhaps chatted on the phone. There is an obvious attraction by both parties. You decide to meet. What should you expect?

keep your expectations low

I hate to be a pessimist, but I've yet to meet a person "on line" who turned out quite like I envisioned. The only way I'll do it anymore, is if I agree to meet someone "out" - where I am already headed to dance. It's rarely worth the time of an exclusive arrangement.

If you've seen a photo of her, don't be shocked if she looks a little different in real life. Girls often cut, trim, and recolor their photo's to death. I'm not saying all girls do this - but some do. If you've seen pictures of her in almost nothing - with a lot of flesh - you'll pretty much know exactly what you are getting. If the photo is a single, fully clothed, or head shot - her looks are still a crap shoot. She likely chose from 100 - to get that one - and reality might be a bit different.

Another "difference"? If you've ever met a famous television or screen star, one of your first thoughts is typically: "they're much smaller than I envisioned". With t-girls, the opposite usually holds true.

We tend to seem "larger" in real life - than you'd envision from our on-line photo's. I'm 5'9 - 145lb. By GG standards, I'm not petite. If I'm wearing high heels, as I am in most my photo's, I rise over 6 feet in a hurry. In my "thigh high" boots pictures, I'm standing 6' 2". The photo's take away from this height. Remember this - when your dainty pen pal walks up - and looks down upon you at your first meeting. Just enjoy all the extra real estate you have to work with. ::))

If you've only met her in a "general" chat room, you're really a Las Vegas kind of guy - which means I'd probably like you. LOL. Why? In places like the TG Gallery, a lot of the girls know one another personally, and you don't see that much "faking" on photo's. Those that do, are pretty obvious to all of us.

When you talk in other places - and I really can't tell you "where", because I'm not that active in chatting - you'll find that some of the "girls" have stolen photo's from web sites, and used these images to portray themselves.

It's actually quite humorous, if you say this out loud: "An impersonator of a female impersonator". LOL. Well, I thought it was funny. ::))

I've had numerous people write me after a conversation with such an imposter, or mention having chatted with me in places I've never even heard of - let alone visited. In the worst case - the girl of your dreams - doesn't even exist.

helpful hints

Meet in a "Dark" Location T-girls are like vampires - they hate bright light. Such illumination inherently exposes little (and large) flaws they spend hours trying to conceal. For both of your benefit, humor her by meeting in a shadowy environment.

Take a Gift "You never get a second chance - to make a first impression". A small token of your appreciation for her coming to meet you, always goes over very big, She likely just spent over $20.00 in "supplies" getting ready to see you. Do her the favor of bringing a flower, a bottle of wine, a bracelet - some minor token - to your first union. It will likely pay off in spades.

Don't Stand Her Up A lot of admirer's who are still wrestling with their sexuality, sometimes "chicken out" over meeting their first t-girl face to face. This is even more unfair than it would be to stand up a genetic woman - which is bad enough!! She will have to spend hours preparing to meet you. Don't blow it by getting nervous and not showing up. You are ruining it for yourself - and others. If you feel uneasy, simply arrange to get paged 30 minutes after meeting. If things look bad, you've got an excuse to scram! ::))

other options for meeting on-line

There are a couple of other options people enjoy you might try. I'm the worst person to offer advice on either of these two alternatives, since they have no appeal to me. I'll just summarize them here.

The first was invented by our friends at AOL and everyone else has since joined the band wagon - Cyber Sex on-line via ICQ, etc. I guess you could classify phone sex in this same category. I am one who loves to talk during sex - but I've never been impressed with this avenue when it comes to fulfillment. I want a warm body and a real ear near my lips, when I whisper naughty thoughts during sex.

If this is your thing, you will find girls in chat rooms who will "promote" their interest in such adventures. Usually, they'll include a "note" beside their "name", expressing interest in this form of fun. Send them a pm - and take it from there.

Good Luck in your search!!

© Copyright 2000 - 2001 by ReneeReyes.com

All Rights Reserved.

Key Search Words:

Renee Reyes, Transgender, Transgenderism,

T-Girl, T-Girls, Transsexuals, TS, Transvestite, TV,

CrossDressers, Crossdressing, Atlanta, Georgia