Understanding your attraction to transsexual women
I’m attracted to transsexual women: “Does this mean I’m gay?”
So you're fascinated by transsexual women, huh? Welcome to the club: lots of people feel likewise. You'll find very few guys who aren't at least intrigued by the allure of an beautiful, totally passable, transsexual female.
Bet you're afraid you're the only guy you know who’s drawn to transsexuals?
Think again. Statistics show searches for on-line images and contacts info for she males and transsexuals rose meteorically this past decade.
Also, back in the day when I did lots of night-clubbing in Atlanta? I encountered men ranging from janitors to Fortune 100 CEO's every weekend. All shared the same sense of isolation & confusion you're perhaps harboring right now. In fact, I'm willing to bet one of your dear male friends feels just like you do. It's been my experience that transexual attraction is a lot like masturbation: a small percentage admit their yearning and the rest are just lying their asses off.
So why's it such a big deal to admit you're attracted to transexuals? Simple. It's that scary little three-letter word. You know - starts with "G"... ends with a "Y"...can you guess the one I'm talking about?
At the very least? A guy worries he'll get labeled bisexual by admitting this interest And what about women who find themselves attracted to transsexuals? What label does society tag on them?
All this begs the million-dollar question: Is a person really gay, bi...or what - if they're attracted to transexual women? It’s a good question. Before I address it, lets first discuss a few related subjects - should help us arrive at a more understandable conclusion.
What's so hot about transsexuals?
What makes transexual females so enticing to certain men?
I suppose I'm preaching to the choir on this issue but it's still a good question. Based upon my experience? Most people attracted to transsexual women appear to be born...rather than made. If you ask them? Many can even recall with vivid detail their first transsexual encounter. It could've been an intensive relationship or a quick glance at a photograph. Regardless of time or depth, most admirers agree their first encounter with a transsexual woman stirred a sensation in their loins like no other. From that onset...they were forever drawn to transgender-type females.
Most beginners relate to the allure of something very different...the naughtiness, if you will. This attraction is actually quite similar to the obsession men have with bisexual and lesbian women: it's the uniqueness of the situation. Other men tend to be most attracted to women that are quite powerful looking - a female body builder-type physique. Lots of transsexual women also fall into this category. An attractive transsexual girl is certainly unique: tall, more powerful - yet feminine loins; and a taste in fashion that comprehends both masculine & feminine insights.
As an admirer evolves and gains comfort with their attraction to transsexuals, they usually begin to comprehend this fascination runs much deeper than a mere sexual fantasy. It's rooted in the very essence of a transsexual persona: and themselves. The way these unique women meld the peculiarities of both genders can be intoxicating to some people. She seems to grasp things most genetic females will never learn. Thus, she understands you. Something...and we'll explore this more later, touches the very soul of the person wired to a transsexual.
So with all these things being right...why's it feel so wrong to admit you're attracted to a transsexuals?
Fear of being labeled as “gay”
Pretty much every straight guy faces a big challenge getting past the g-word obstacle. His sexual desires & natural leanings tug in one direction while the cerebral alter-ego upstairs asks the hard question:
"What if somebody I know saw me with this creature?
Why's that such a big hang up? Simple. In society's present opinion, to admit to this type of attraction is to acknowledge a gay inclination. If someone isn't homosexual, such a conflict causes a great deal of confusion. The comforting news? Few guys attracted to transsexuals are gay. Unfortunately, there's still not an accurate label for straight males attracted to transsexuals. They remain some unidentified subset of the gay, transgender or bisexual worlds. Interestingly, only a small percentage of the total number of transsexual girls classify themselves as bi or gay, as well.
Why do most outsiders first think we're all gay. Beyond the obvious, I think the fact most lay-people's first encounter to gender-bending is through DRAG - plays a part in this misconception. Alas, most DRAG performers are very gay and quite proud of that fact. The good news? Increased media coverage of transgenderism is changing this misconception but generally speaking? It's still a big mess.
So what's the sexual orientation of a man or woman attracted to a transsexual?
The difference between sexual orientation and gender identity
Before you can develop an informed opinion on the proper sexual orientation of someone attracted to transsexuals, it's helpful to comprehend the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. Succinctly stated:
“Sexual orientation refers to who you want to go to bed with, gender identity refers to what you want to go to bed as.”
A person's sexual orientation is defined as their ideal choice for a sexual partner (either men or women). Nobody knows why some people are most attracted to members of the opposite sex (heterosexual) or the same sex (homosexual). Some scientists feel we're all born with the potential for bisexuality. Others tout biological factors: including a specific inherited gene or the effect of hormones in the mother's womb on the fetus. Alas, we’re all finally coming to realize it’s something in-born: duh!
Regardless of belief, its safe to say transsexualism adds a new dimension to an already complex argument. In this variation, you add a feminine presentation, persona & gender identity - to a male platform. Regardless if this person's a girl on a full-time basis or just a weekender - she believes, she feels, she acts, and she looks just like a woman! In fact, anatomical differences aside: she's often more feminine than some born-women.
In other words: her gender identity is female. Just because she feels compelled to alter her presentation doesn't mean she also adjusts her sexual orientation. In fact, most transexual women are never attracted to men. A smaller percentage are only drawn to men when they're in a female persona: never otherwise. Of course, there's a final group that only seeks male sexual partners.
Thus, if a straight male is attracted genetic females & now finds himself drawn to transsexual women...does this mean his sexual orientation is changing?
I don't think so.
The Old School Thinking
The old school of thought believed that straight guys who sought transsexuals were just latent homosexuals chasing a softer middle ground.
In today's world of broader acquiescence of homosexuality this logic seems far from likely. Why’s that? Because in today's world? It's actually easier to be accepted as gay...than attracted to the more confusing role of transsexuals. Those old-school stepping stones? Ironically, they're now reversed.
Another problematic issue with this line of thought?
Guess which men are never sexually attracted to transexuals? You guessed it: gay guys. Why's that? Gay men are attracted to a great deal more than a penis. They feel most comfortable being intimate with a manly persona, touch, & smell. They're drawn by the very essence of masculinity. Ever seen an effeminate-type male in a gay promotional advertisement? I don't think so....*Laugh* You'll find rugged-types or the boy-next-door look.
Finally, most new admirers show an increasing propensity to be attracted exclusively to transexuals & genetic females. They never transform into a homosexual orientation.
Old school thinking?
It's way out of touch.
Certain “straight” women are also attracted to transsexuals
While almost no gay man would ever go there with a transexual, the opposite holds true for some lesbians. A number of gay women find trans-types appealing. Their perquisite? Oh, sure... a highly feminine body is a big plus. However, the most important criteria? No male edge: she needs a female soul and that refined sense of being a girl. Lots of transexuals own this essence & are a target of gay female affections.
Guess what else?
There's also a growing number of straight women drawn to transsexual females. These women were often always somewhat drawn to other women but never enough to cross that line. Many can recall their fascination with another woman's breasts, softer skin & hair - and of course - a heightened sense of communication. One thing most these women had no real attraction to? The vaginal area.
As one 44 year old twice married woman shared: "I would gander at a Playboy magazine as a young girl & simply marvel at women's breasts & body. However, I could never bring myself to become intimate with another chick. Honestly? The whole vaginal-thing is disgusting to my senses. I don't mind my own...just don't want anything to do with someone else's. But when I'm with my transsexual partner? Her breasts, those hips, her soft lips, her feminine touch...they drive me crazy. And the fact she's still butch below? That's total heaven. I get everything I want."
So whose gay & whose straight?
Additional chapters Included in This Section Include:
TS Dating Attraction to Transsexuals
Transgender Date: Transgender Sexual Orientation
Sorting Out Your Sexuality with an Attraction to Transgender Women
Transsexual Dating: The Five Most Common Types of Transsexual Admirers
"Accidental" Transsexual Orientation
Are You a Guy Who Secretly Fantasizes About Becoming a Woman?
TS Dating: Common Traits Between TS Women & The Guys Who Seek Them
How TS Admirers Evolve in Their Attraction
Date a Crossdresser: What Men Tend to Like Most About TS Women
What Men Tend to Dislike About TS Women