The Fives P’s of Transition Success
What are the most important attributes for a successful gender transition? A full head of hair, an extra small bodily frame?
Guess what? None of the above
Success is primarily rooted primarily in your state of mind. Following are what I consider to be the most important mindsets to maintain in order to make your life and transition a success.
The Five P’s of Transition Success
Patience
A complete & successful transition where your life is subsequently well-balanced and your afforded opportunities commensurate to the ones like before transition will take approximately ten years - assuming you're successful.
Without a doubt this was one of my biggest mistakes with my own transition. I felt confident I had a very solid plan with my business & personal evolution. What I didn’t anticipate was all the emotional setbacks I would face during the evolution of a new gender. Transition tends to create periods where you’re not thinking straight and highly susceptible to making bad decisions. This phase also often coincides with friends and loved ones being uncomfortable with our unique journey: a tough combination.
Even the major milestones…FFS, GRS…all require lots of subsequent patience. If you withstand consequential facial reconstruction? You’ll endure almost a year of subsequent swelling - particularly when you become exhausted. Recovery & dilating activities following GRS are a monumental challenge & usually requires years of consistent work to achieve the desired results. Also, it takes several years following GRS or an orchie before you witness consequential results with muscle atrophy & skin softening.
A successful gender transition is a marathon - not a sprint. Enjoy the journey versus fixating upon the final destinations.
Chapters in This Section include:
MTF Gender Transition Introduction
Secrets to a More Successful MTF Transition
Non-verbal Female Communication Skills
Five Keys to MTF Transition Success
Ten Most Common MTF Transition Traps
Finding an MTF Transition Mentor
Choosing Your New Name as a TS Woman
The Stealthy Transsexual Woman
Total Stealth for MTF Transsexual
Surviving an MTF Transition
Five Mistakes Transsexual Most Often Make with Transition
Success with a Partial Transition
Transgender Depression and Suicide
Shortcuts to a Successful MTF Transition
Final Steps to MTF Gender Transition
Hope it helps!
Persistence
Transsexuals that enjoy highly successful gender transitions are amongst the most persistent people on the planet. Successful transsexual women are the poster child’s for persistence. Making a plan, working that plan - those plans not working out - and starting over - sometimes, again and again…is a way of life for highly successful transsexual women.
Is that fair?
Nope!
There are so many roadblocks. Many plans might go awry. It’s not the setbacks that hurt most - it’s our expectations coming up short.
Don’t stop, GF. Start again. Start anew. Smile!
Developing the habit of persistence when it comes to actualizing your dreams and goals is a key ingredient for transsexual success.
Peace of Mind
Perhaps the most important lesson I learned from my own transition was to never “conditionilize” happiness upon any future or present event - particularly verbally.
Ever caught yourself stating “I’ll be happy when…”? We all tend to get into a habit of stating that phrase: I sure did. I would strongly suggest you learn to amend your choice of words to the actual outcome of future goals. For instance: I’ll be more comfortable when I have a higher income…or I’ll appear more feminine after my FFS surgery. Leave “happy” out of any conditional statement.
This is all about state of mind and using your subconscious thoughts to your advantage.
Happiness is a decision - it’s a way of life. I discovered and realized I was “happy” when I was homeless and destitute. I forced a smile upon my face daily - even including “smile appointments” in my calendar to remind myself of this goodwill.
Count your blessings - there are many. Be calm. Use your positive thoughts as a weapon to achieve success.
Perfectionism
Without a doubt, my biggest obstacle with transition was perfectionism. This attribute killed more worthy aims than any other roadblock I faced. Many of us struggle with perfectionism.
The key to beating it back is to design plans that could aptly be described as “good to go” - versus some perfect vision. If you’ve got 80% of a project completed? Its time to launch.
Don’t hold back your goals and objectives with perfectionism as I did. It’s destructive and debilitating.
Priority
For transsexuals just starting transition, staying on priority is often a constant challenge.
Without a doubt, your most important priority is making sure you created a sound basis to earn a living now and throughout your transition. If your plan includes starting something totally new or receiving lots of money that hasn’t yet arrived? You must revaluate your plan. Starting new career or business endeavors is challenging in the best of circumstances. Attempting to tackle such projects while you’re in the middle of the distractions & insecurities associated with a gender-change is almost impossible. Likewise, if you’re expecting to receive some money that will play a big role in funding your transition? That money needs be in the bank before you start. I can’t begin to tell you the number of girls I’ve known that let “contingent financing” ruin a good transition plan.
Distractions are the downside of priority. Got friends always robbing your time? Make new ones. Surrounded by negative impulses. Move - start over. Always revisit your priorities to make sure what you’re doing today is on track to get you where you want to be in the future.