Non-Verbal Female Communication Skills for Transsexual Women
Men and women use lots of non-verbal communication techniques. However, the messages sent and received from each are different for each gender. Its essential you become aware of these differences and apply them to your technique for personal safety, success with stealth and improved social etiquette.
Female Non-Verbal Communication with Men
Remember when you lived as a man? As men, we made and lightly held eye contact with other males followed by a simple nod if we wanted to say: “howdy”. If you held that stare too long and intense with another male? It was a sign of provocation.
One of the most common “mistakes” I witness with early stage transsexual women is the breaking of “unwritten” rules regarding making and holding eye contact with men.
If a woman makes and holds eye contact with a man it’s usually perceived by him to mean: “I want you”. Thus, some transsexual women get false readings from men always hitting on them or wanting them because they inadvertently tell those same men they desire their immediate attention. Lots of transsexual women do this inadvertently at the start - I did!
Men will jump on a held-stare like nothing else - even driving down an interstate highway. I found that one most shocking: do the men that hit on women driving along the interstate really think she’s going to pull over at the rest stop for a quickie?
What if you encounter a single guy you find appealing?
Then by all means look - even share a friendly smile, just don’t hold that stare too long. Such stares scream non-verbal sexual communication to men.
Non-Verbal Communication with Other Women
Women say: “hello” to one another by smiling - when passing or even across a crowded room. At the beginning of my gender transition, I was very insecure: I walked around with slumped shoulders, often looking downward and rarely smiling at anyone. Guess what? By doing that with women, I was drawing lots of unwanted attention and scrutiny. You’re supposed to smile at almost every woman you encounter: young, old - all of them.
What it they don’t smile back?
A very small percentage of woman won’t smile back: could be they’re mentally preoccupied or having a bad day. However, if most don’t return the smile it usually means one of two things.
1. They’re reading you as transgender and not supportive. That means we’ve got more work to do with our presentation.
2. We’re carrying an inappropriate style - Women often won’t return your smile if they consider your look or style “inappropriate”. Use these free signals to modify your presentation. What’s considered inappropriate in the eyes of other women? A skirt that’s too short, too much cleavage on display or too much glam considering the venue.
Non-Verbal Etiquette with a Male Female Couple
My friend Marly is a 42-year old transsexual woman and she’s quite attractive. Heard her once complain about other women not liking her after their men made overtures at her. I subsequently watched that interaction occur and we nailed the issue.
When you encounter a male-female couple - you can glance at the guy (if he’s that hot) but your attention & smile is supposed to be directed at his female companion. This is an important courtesy to her and establishes you’re not a threat. Do otherwise? YOu’ll be a female outcast in a hurry. Trust me: you need more female friends much more than additional male admirers.
A Good Rule of Thumb
As a general rule, I find it advisable to walk around with at least a half-grin on my face all the times. This makes you appear friendlier, sweeter and more feminine to the world around you. This holds doubly true for the most beautiful of our brethren. Sine people admire beauty - they often assume it will be accompanied by a self-centered “bitch” attitude. Thus, a constant smile engaging others alleviates that issue. Just keep it toned down for single males as they might read more engagement than you want or need.
What if you get caught staring at a beautiful woman?
Some transsexual women subsequently identify as lesbian - their sexual orientation doesn’t evolve to men. Thus, it's only natural you might get caught staring at a drop-dead gorgeous lady through your old male eyes. Hey, it happened to me - could happen to you, as well.
If you get nabbed by this awkward moment?
Immediately gloat over something about her outfit: her dress, shoes, earrings or necklace to alleviate the awkwardness of your stare.
Move on - don’t be a pervert! LOL
Chapters in This Section include:
MTF Gender Transition Introduction
Secrets to a More Successful MTF Transition
Non-verbal Female Communication Skills
Five Keys to MTF Transition Success
Ten Most Common MTF Transition Traps
Finding an MTF Transition Mentor
Choosing Your New Name as a TS Woman
Total Stealth for MTF Transsexual
Surviving an MTF Transition
Five Mistakes Transsexual Most Often Make with Transition
Success with a Partial Transition
Transgender Depression and Suicide
Shortcuts to a Successful MTF Transition
Final Steps to MTF Gender Transition