The Four Big Challenges with On-Line Transsexual Dating
The most common challenges associated with connecting with transsexuals on-line include:
- She’s not into men
- She’s not as represented in her photos.
- She’s trying to sell you her sex site
- She’s a professional con artist
1. She’s Not into Men
Most of the transgender women active on-line are only part-time. Most part time trans-girls live as heterosexual males and are not into men - only women and sometimes other transgenders. She might appreciate a well contrived compliment but you’re not going to change her sexual orientation no matter how smooth your approach. In fact, hitting on such a gal with sexual intent is beyond annoying. How would you feel if some gay guy kept hitting on you at a straight dating site where you were trying to find female dates? To a heterosexual part-time trans-girl or full-time lesbian TS? That - is how they feel in response to your unwanted advances.
Additional chapters Included in this section on this subject, include:
The Four Big Challenges with Finding a TS Girlfriend
Transsexual and Shemale Dating Websites
Transgender Chat Rooms
Writing a Good Letter to a Trans Woman
The Six Worst Things to Say to a TS
2. She’s Doesn’t Actually Look Like Her On-line Photos
There’s two issues you might face with trans-girls not looking much like they’re represented in their on-line presence.
Heavily Photoshopped Photos
Almost all women add a bit of “touch up” to a favorite photo - People Magazine is notorious for doing that with various celebrities. . However, transgender women sometimes turn this into an art form known as “glamorizing” a photograph. That’s fine - if the purpose of those efforts is to make them feel better about your transgender self image. However, if they’re included in a personal ad? It can cause problems. How do you know if a photo is heavily adjusted? Heavily doctored images have a softness in the face that makes them obvious. With others? Its harder to tell.
Fake / Stolen Photos of Other Women
Some people - mostly closeted cross dressers - will steal images of other trans-women and represent her as themselves. Ours is a rather small community: everybody usually has only one about degree of separation from another transgender woman. Look for comments in the photo from more experienced people who might recognize who she really is.
It's actually quite humorous, if you say this aloud: An impersonator - of a female impersonator. LOL. Well, I thought it was funny.
I've had numerous people write me after a conversation with such an impostor, or mention having chatted with me in places I've never even heard of - let alone visited. In the worst case? The girl of your dreams - doesn't even exist.
The other common challenge is when such an impostor uses pictures of a naturally-born female and passes her off as them and as being a transsexual. I’ve seen this with on-line friends - through Facebook, etc. There’s two things that usually bust such fakes. First off? If they’re stunning but only have a small number of facial pictures - and all their subsequent timeline photos are shown without a face? That’s a big problem. If they include more photos? Look closely and compare them…sometimes they’re not even of the same woman.
Finally: look very closely for a female hip bone. This is the one feature a trans-woman can’t fake. We’re masters of creating female illusion. Personally, I’ve had hip & ass augmentation, breast implants, facial feminization - I even tan with a thong bikini to enhance the illusion of that female hip line. However, I can’t create that “bone”. If you see that hip bone? It’s not actually a transgender female. That’s a feature nature created to help women in child birth. No transsexual female has it.
Best ways to tell if a transsexual gal is “real”
Photos with Girlfriends
Unfortunately, the only sure-fire way to know is meet her ASAP in person. If you saw the movie “Catfish” you understand some people go to great lengths to develop an alternative persona. However, assuming you’re not dealing with such a complete deviant, Google her to find photos with her friends. Since it's socially unacceptable to “alter” a photo of yourself with other girlfriends - these are usually the truest representation of how she really looks.
If a beautiful transsexual woman immediately starts talking about her sexual desires and fantasies? You’ve most likely been Catfished - you probably have some guy with a hairy chest wearing silk panties on the other keyboard. Transsexual women rarely engage in erotic talk early-on.
3. She’s trying to sell you her sex site
Most transsexual women who run on-line webcam sites stay active on dating sites to help find new clients for their services. At trans-dating sites from Asia? Almost every girl has a webcam site she’s pitching. The good news if you take her offer? You’ll get a clear picture of how she really looks. The bad news: she’s probably only interested in your money.
4. She’s a professional con artist
Even worse is the professional con artist. Alas, they’re not exclusive to transgender dating sites. They pop up on straight sites as well, including Match.com, etc. They usually begin telling you about the recent death of a loved one, losing their home, their sick mother, etc. They’re trolling for sympathy and “donations” of help. Sadly, there’s lots of trans-women in such similar plights during transition. Thus, it can hard to determine which is which. Have to trust your instincts. A phone conversation helps. Most con artists avoid such communication.
How to Do Better Connecting with TS Women
What do guys do that are most successful with dating and loving transsexual women? I talked with a few of those men and discovered a handful of common traits, including:
Honesty - is a big word. Who’s the first person whom you must be honest? Yourself - of course! Are you just after sex? Would you like to form a long-term bond? If so, what degree of openness are you comfortable with in your world regarding friends, family & co-workers being aware you're dating a transsexual.
Knowing yourself and being honest with her about these circumstances is important.
Additional chapters Included in this section, include:
Transsexual Girlfriend: Picking a Match
TS Dating - How to Find the Best Match
TS Girlfriend Dating - The Ten Best Options
Transgender Dating - Common Mistakes
Tranny Dates - How to Succeed
Shemale Love: What's Most Important?
TS Dating: Answers to Common Questions
Be Realistic Regarding Your Needs & Wants
Most transsexual admirers are first drawn to this lifestyle after viewing some form of tranny porn - stunning "Chicks with Dicks" mixing it up with a guy - or whoever else was on that film.
The performers in that erotica are also known as either pre-op or non-op transsexuals - and most are using sexual supplements to achieve what you see.
Anyone who is pre-op - by definition - is planning to eventually complete GRS.
You’ve got to be realistic.
Learn About Mars
What's the worst remark you can make when starting out? Saying: “I want to marry a transsexual”.
That's the same as saying I want to marry a Martian - but I've never been to Mars. Unless you're shopping a mail order bride catalog - you're 'gonna sound like an idiot.
You don't yet know the indigenous language, local customs, unique challenges and all the gifts of us transsexual “Martians".
We TS Martians prefer to bond with guys that have actually been to Mars, learned the terrain - and know they like it there.
Stay in Your League
Without a doubt the best relationships occur between people who are living the same level of openness in their transgender lifestyle. If you're married? Consider a part-time trans-gal.
I know - many of you want to find a stunning, passable transsexual woman with breast implants and buttocks augmentation plus a functional penis to love you. Do you know how rare that girl is - that’s also attracted to men? She’s very rare! You can rent a version - but on a constant basis - it won’t be cheap.
Two of the most happy and successful long term trans-love relationships I’ve ever seen were both between a married, part-time trans-girl and a married guy that adored transgender women.
A part time gal won’t have breast augmentation or the smoothest face but she will often share your need for discretion and if married: is as worried about contracting a STD as you are! Also, lots of part-time gals look very lovely!
Both these love-success examples are over ten years old - and still going strong. They can be that good!
The happiest guys embrace most everything won’t be perfect - but that the relationship can be.
Follow Through As Promised
Trans-women with experience in dating are aware they often don’t get the straight story from guys at the onset. Lots of guys lie: we’re used to that - we’re looking for it.
Thus, anything you do that confirms "nothing is as it seems" - will often mark the end of your association with that particular gal.
Try Talking About Her
Most men adore talking about themselves. While our straight counterparts will sometimes let you get away with that? We’re often less patient.
The most successful guys ask lots of personal interest questions and listen intently.
Save “the Story” for Later
I know you're probably dying to discuss your history and interest in transgender women. You might have felt so different for many years - and you’re finally with someone who understands.
However, all those stories are usually about the same. Save it - until you know her better. Early on? It implies this is all just a fetish to you.
Don't Bring up the Sex Before She Does
Transsexual women know most men are just looking for an exotic encounter. Unfortunately, we are usually seeking more than that.
The trick to sexually scoring with women? Be aggressive in your desire to have her but never physically touch or discuss a subject before she does. And never “lead the way” on such a subject.
In other words?
If she somehow mentioned she likes oral sex? Just respond: “me too - love it”. Don’t subsequently go on a triage regarding your ideas about doing that with her. Likewise, if she physically moves closer to your body? Lightly embrace her: don’t grope.
Never take a step further than she does until they’re no steps left to worry about.