First Meetings with a Potential Transsexual Partner
Your first “face to face” connection with a potential transgender partner or lover is often exciting.
Where do you meet and what do you do?
That depends if your date is a full-time or part-time gal. There are basically three core types of girls in the trans-lifestyle. Where and how you meet them for a date often depends upon which one of these girls we’re talking about. These include:
- The Full-Time Transsexual Woman
- The Experienced Part Time Transgender Gal
- The Part-Time Closeted Trans-Girl
The Full-Time Transsexual Female
If she’s full time?
She’ll be offended if you suggest meeting in some dark location or choose secluded seating. Unless she’s still rather new at living full-time as a woman, this - gal already lives and works successfully each day as a woman. Treating her like she’s something you want to keep hidden? That - won’t go over well.
Get Some Experience
The absolute worst thing you can do is be nervous because she’s transsexual. I’ll never forget a guy I once met for lunch to offer advice on his desire for meeting and dating trans-women. He was literally “shaking” from nervousness. Really??? I’ve been full-time for over a decade and function seamlessly as a woman in my career everyday - and you’re shaking from fear about meeting me for lunch? How was I supposed to feel about that? I was put-off.
If you’re going to be very nervous meeting a transsexual face-to-face, do yourself and her a favor and go get some experience being around transsexuals at nightclubs or through the use of a professional escort before dishonoring her with fear. You’ve got to be past the fact she’s trans - and get on to treating her like any other woman you find appealing.
An Experienced Part-Time Transgender Gal
If she’s a part-time girl but confident and experienced with public trans-expression? She’ll probably prefer a lunch or dinner date like anyone else. I know lots of gals in this category that while not full-time? Are more confident and passable than transsexuals who’ve already gone full-time. It just varies. In this instance, she may - or may not get read by the waiter and others seated adjacent. Regardless of her degree of stealth, stay fixated upon her and treat her with the utmost respect.
A Closeted Part-Time Transgender Gal
If her trans-expression is more closeted? She might prefer a trans-friendly environment or more privacy.
A few ideas in this instance?
Meet in a Dark Location Part time closeted trans-girls are like vampires - they hate bright light. Such illumination inherently exposes little (and large) flaws they spend hours trying to conceal. For both your benefit, humor her by meeting in a shadowy environment.
Take a Gift You never get a second chance - to make a first impression. A small token of your appreciation for her coming to meet you, always goes over very big, She likely just spent over $20.00 in supplies getting ready to see you. Do her the favor of bringing a flower, a bottle of wine, a bracelet - some minor token - to your first union. It will likely pay off in spades.
Don't Stand Her Up A lot of admirer's who are still wrestling with their sexuality, sometimes chicken out over meeting their first t-girl face to face. This is even more unfair than it would be to stand up a genetic woman - which is bad enough!! She will have to spend hours preparing to meet you. Don't blow it by getting nervous and not showing up. You are ruining it for yourself - and others. If you feel uneasy, simply arrange to get paged 30 minutes after meeting. If things look bad, you've got an excuse to scram! ::))
What's Challenging About Making this work?
Loving a transsexual female is not without challenges. We’re often a “moving target” in more ways than one.
Following are common issues our partners might face:
Additional chapters in This Section Include
A Transsexual Woman's Greatest Fears
A Transsexual Marriage
Loving a Transsexual
We’re Not Done Evolving in our Gender Transition
Where we’re at in our gender transition can create challenges for loving partners. Transition - by definition: is a state of change. Thus, its fair to question if you’ll still adore us after we’re done evolving into our new gender.
Some transgender women discover their sexual / relationship orientation evolves and changes in this process. Some transgender women evolve to needing and wanting a union with a man: they find female-female love connections too competitive. Likewise, I’ve also seen girls go from dating men and switch to women after completing transition. “My natural orientation was always women,” says Melissa, a 52-year old TS woman. “However, during the earlier phases of transition I mostly dated men. Later, I switched back to women. I found my desire for men was rooted in the affirmation of my femininity they provided. When my journey was complete and I no longer required such validation, I discovered I was no longer attracted to men.”
We’re Not Old Enough to Consent to Love
Time has taught us young people need to reach a certain age to effectively consent to sex or marriage. We know at a younger age: they’re not qualified to make such a decision and we created laws and rules to protect them accordingly.
Transgender women also evolve like young girls and it takes awhile before they know their new self well enough to make healthy decisions. As with our young female counterparts, we’re often convinced we’re ready - when we’re not. Knowing if a trans-woman is far enough along in her journey to know what she wants takes some experience.
We’re a Financial Rescue Project
Being transgender is often devastating financially-speaking. It's this differential that most limits transgenders in the world today.
A gay male or lesbian often share the inherent prejudice that comes with being homosexual - and how such prejudice can limit their income opportunities. However, they don’t have to spend $50,000 to $100,000 just be gay.
Costs to successfully transition vary greatly based upon the inherent physical features of the individual and their need and willingness to invest more heavily in being “prettier” - and the degree of safety they're willing to forgo in terms of licensed physicians in that regard.
We’re Extremely Jaded
A lot of transgender women become very jaded during transition. This is perhaps the most common complaint from Admirers.
However? We don’t start that way: quite the opposite. In fact, when transsexuals begin their journey - they’re like an infant: born anew. We’re usually very excited! Like most young children, we don’t begin with prejudice or lack of trust: its their nature to love everyone. The jaded side comes after abuse and a need to protect a bruised inner child.
After announcing plans to change genders, lots of old friends and many family members will pull away - disown us. Co-workers might express their disapproval by driving us to leave our jobs. Most of the men in our lives are seeking fantasy fulfillment: broken promises are often a way of life.
Like any jaded edge: we can and do heal. However, we’re usually not very trusting at the onset.
We Just Want Your Money
As I mentioned previously, transition is often a very expensive process. Also, our ability to earn a living gets hampered by inherent transgender prejudice. If you add those circumstances to having had men love and leave us like an unpaid prostitute? You can begin to comprehend why some girls end up fixated upon money from potential partners.
I’m very sympathetic to this plight. I’m one of the few post-transition transsexual women with substantial assets. However, along that path? I was also homeless and destitute.
If your transgender partner isn’t done with transition? She’s facing more investments and additional costs. Enough money - is her reality.