Common Ground Between Admirers’s and Transsexuals
I always had a soft spot in my heart for admirers. I think most transgender girls fail to recognize or even appreciate the powerful role such people play in the overall balance of the trans-ecosystem. Ya'll do a lot. Importantly, you provide validation that we're presenting as female. For beginning trans-women this affirmation is crucial to her sense of progress: as a girl. Other trans-girls & women are equally important for us to impress & receive similar validation. Alas, these last two audiences are harder to impress early-on.
Additional chapters Included in This Section Include:
TS Dating Attraction to Transsexuals
Transgender Date: Transgender Sexual Orientation
Sorting Out Your Sexuality with an Attraction to Transgender Women
Transsexual Dating: The Five Most Common Types of Transsexual Admirers
"Accidental" Transsexual Orientation
Are You a Guy Who Secretly Fantasizes About Becoming a Woman?
TS Dating: Common Traits Between TS Women & The Guys Who Seek Them
How TS Admirers Evolve in Their Attraction
Date a Crossdresser: What Men Tend to Like Most About TS Women
What Men Tend to Dislike About TS Women
Know what else?
Trans-girls and their male admirers have a great deal more in common than first meets the eye.
I already spent a good bit of time discussing trans-girls - and what makes them unique. Likewise, I just disclosed the various types of admirers and what motivates each of their needs. Now, for both fun and benefit: I'm going to discuss traits both admirers and trans-girls have in common. And how these common characteristics can yield great relationships.
Should be fun... *Smile*
The Most Powerful Common Ground between Admirer’s and Transsexuals
Here's a little reality check. We transsexuals faced very similar challenges in our own path to trans-sexual discovery. You've probably spent as much intensity fretting over your trans-desires as we did about putting on our dresses. You've worried just as much about someone finding your little stash of trans-pornography (magazines, on-line images and video's) - as we did (or do) about getting our silk panties located. You see, we actually have more in common than first meets the eye.
The most compelling bond is actually the most simple. Namely, they both feel a strong need to express an alternative sexual lifestyle - and they both did not choose to be - the way they are.
Know what I mean? I did not choose to be a guy who prefers to look and appear as a woman. I don't necessarily dislike this inner need - but my life would have been much simpler without it. It w’as with me for as long as I can recall. In fact, I honestly don't recall not doing this. I can easily recollect praying for my sex to change - each night before I went to bed - when I was just five years old. Can you imagine what it felt like to be captain of my high school football team - and in reality - I secretly prayed I was a cheerleader? It was very confusing - and felt shameful.
Likewise, based upon candid personal interviews with trans-admirers, I don't believe any of them chose to be attracted to us gals. I'm sure most would agree their lives would be much simpler without this desire, as well.
Most admirers don't usually recognize this unique longing as early in life as we transsexuals do. For the male admirer, trans-girl attraction is usually like a waiting time bomb. This facet of their sexual palette ticks away silently - and explodes - the first time they see a lovely transsexual.
I've never met an admirer who required convincing - that he was attracted to transsexuals. Oh sure, many require a period of time to adjust to this need - before they actually proceed with their desires. However, they knew they had this desire - from the first moment they came in contact with a girl.
When a certified admirer first sees a tranny - he knows. Even if his mind won't own up to this hankering - his friend below his belt - will make it clear in rapid fashion. *Smile* Those men that have no such attraction - generally find what we gals do either - disgusting - or humorous.
Does Trans-Orientation Last Forever?
Can this trans-lust be altered? I don't think so. All in all - like with us trans-girls - it appears to be a lifetime deal. I have yet to meet a man who was once - sexually attracted to transsexuals - and then subsequently shifted this desire. For most - being sexually drawn to members of the transgender community is just who they are - sexually speaking.
There are a select few using it as a crutch for actually being gay. However, since we now live in a world where confessing the fact you are gay - is really not that big of a deal anymore - few men require the t-girl stepping stone process - to make their way out of the closet.
Typical Beginnings of those Attracted to Transsexuals
With a bit of memory jogging, most admirers can actually recall the first time they ever saw a transsexual's graphic image. Almost all, can recall in vivid detail - their first such face to face encounter.
The following letter is typical of initial attraction and fascination by a certified admirer. I've received countless letters of a similar nature - but this one arrived just as I was drafting this section. Its inclusion seemed appropriate.
My name is Ali. I have a story to share that has turned into a dilemma for me. I was in the navy a few years ago and we were visiting Thailand. It was my 5th time there, and I had never really had any close contact with any t-girls.
I was having fun at a regular bar when out of nowhere, an argument broke out between the lady boys from the cabaret bar next door, and the girls at my bar. I told them that I would bring some guys to their bar (the ladyboys) to buy some drinks and chill everyone off
I go next door to the cabaret and I see the most beautiful intriguing woman I have every seen in my life. She was a pro (as you call them) and she was a "Katoey" - or t girl as they are called in Thailand. She could sense my interest. I have never thought of being with a man but this Asian t-girl just killed me.
We were speaking to each other with our eyes. Then she came and sat next to me and said "hello" in a not so passable voice. We talked for around about twenty minutes and the only way I got away with it, is because she was so feminine and most of the guys were clueless. I kissed her for around ten minutes in a secluded area of the club. I told her I had to be with her. She told me she was only a dancer and she didn't do that stuff, but she would still like to see me. So the next day, I went back. She never showed and I almost got caught( that would have been a disaster for my navy career). I returned my last day in Thailand and she was there and apologetic. She was also ready to go, but this time I couldn't because there were too many eyes watching.
To make a long story short I was never with her. That was 3 1/2 years ago and I have only had sex once since then. That was with a normal woman. Don't get me wrong I am a good looking guy that actually gets constant offers from good looking women. It is just that they don't excite me the way "Li Li" - the Thai t-girl did. I've pretty much lost interest in normal women. However, I have no interest in men.
Renee, could you please share your insight into my situation? I could really use some guidance.
Ali's story is not unique - although the actual indoctrination process may vary. For most, first contact typically occurs via pornography. So what do you do when you discover you have this desire - and it just won't seem to let go?
The Five Most Common Types of Transsexual Admirers:
Which one are you?
Guys attracted to transgender women have been given a wide variety of terms & labels over the years – some not very complimentary. The term “Transsexual Admirer” was born from the earlier days of transgender existence when girls where almost always performing in clubs as a means to support themselves. Admirers provided attention and even varied forms of financial support. It was & is a term of respect that cast such people beyond the realm of the tranny chaser.
Although it's progressing at a geometric rate, real-time transsexual relationship exploration is still fairly new. Thus, beginning admirers (also called “novices” in the transgender community) constitute the lion's share of the market. This early-stage allure is typically more sexual-based than similar female-admirers. That's because it usually takes men longer to reach a sense of balance & acceptance of their transgender desires.
Amongst these beginners, it's been my experience that there's five core-types of admirers pursuing their trans-orientation issues. Actually, most individuals are actually a combination of one or more grouping. Some people? They relate to almost every category. However, you'll rarely find an early-stage admirer outside these basic parameters.
It'll help immensely if you can determine which group you identify most closely.
Because that'll eventually help us find the perfect trans-girl for you.
Beginning Male Admirers
Almost every beginning male admirer is primarily drawn to trans-females on a sexual plane. Their approach might be to first befriend such a prospective lover before attempting a roll in-the-hay. However, a varied approach isn't a root change in desire: it's just a difference in style.
Almost every male admirer is drawn to that unique blend of masculinity & femininity that makes up the presentation of transgenders. Their exact equation for how much of each component is known as their personal recipe for a trans-dream partner.
Let's explore the five core types of beginning male admirers:
The Hidden Bisexual
This individual fits the old-school model for transgender attraction discussed previously. Alas, in our world of increasing freedom of sexual expression - they're less common. It's just not that big of a deal anymore - at least compared to historical norms - to privately admit gay or bisexual leanings.
Still, such men do exist.
These individuals exhibit strong bisexual tendencies but are uncomfortable exploring those leanings with a traditional male. They see a pre-operative tranz-female as the ideal bridge. The tranz-woman tend to represent an ideal middle ground - the smooth, soft femininity of a woman coupled with the intensity of a man - among other things.
The Timid Bottom
Even as a growing number of men are confident exploring bisexual or gay fantasies, there's still plenty of them that can't readily admit their need to assume the traditionally submissive or yielding role in a sexual union. Nothing tends to offer these individuals more intensity via fantasy - than the thought of a sexually submissive role with a stunningly beautiful non-operative transsexual female. The bottom line? These men are most attracted to feminine beauty and being on the bottom.
Unfortunately, this is perhaps the most challenging admirer persona when it comes to ever discovering sustained, real-life satisfaction. Why's that? Because so very few t-girls sexually identify as "tops".
Some of these men can eventually unearth pleasure with the right smooth bodied, very attractive guy or a DRAG queen that's willing to humor his needs.
For the rest?
Real-life associations will probably be some combination of professional escorts & trans-pornography.
The Latent Crossdresser
The next group is what I term the latent cross dresser. These men are actually t-girl's at heart, but for whatever reasons...be it their lifestyle, their physique, their access to appropriate cross-dressing tips or transformation services, or their fears...they have not - and may never cross the line of full feminization. They'll usually wear lingerie on occasion or at least get very turned on by the thought of doing so.
Additionally, men who fantasize about being submissive to a t-girl usually fall into this category. They often dream of being forced into femme - as a vehicle for letting go of their masculinity - and not being held personally accountable for that action. Their attraction to transgenders completes this vision. Thus, their intimate desires often equate to a vicarious experience of being their trans-female lover. Isn't the human psyche an amazing device?
A lot of beginners fall into this category. It's very common: even a quasi-normal fantasy for straight males.
So what's your chances of finding an attractive trans-female that wants to feminize you? They're almost nil. If a gal is drawn to the lesbian scene...why would she chase a neophyte in a skirt? Female-female connections are about a lot more than clothing. If she wants a man...she usually wants no competition about whose the girl in such a union. The only exception to this rule? If you're a very feminine, young smooth-bodied guy & a gal finds your potential female-image appealing.
For most of these men to find satisfaction? The solution's simple: shit...or get off the pot.
You can either learn how to transform yourself / pay someone to do it for you....or - you can pay an escort to humor your desires.
The Emerging Trans-Girl
A more extreme version of the latent cross dresser is the emerging t-girl. These men are more in tune with their feminine persona. Some, are even more feminine at heart than the trans-girls they encounter. Their biggest hesitation with progressing with a fully feminine transformation is usually a fear they could never look remotely feminine.
Fortunately, that's changing.
With easy access to transformation tips & services provided via the internet, this group tends to evolve & develop their alternative feminine persona much faster than ever before.
These men are not usually quite as intent about a sexual encounter with a trans-women. They'll often profess a desire to date or even wed a transgender female from the onset. There's a deep-rooted need within themselves that's not being met. They usually think a committed relationship with a trans-woman would fulfill this requirement.
The final core group amongst beginning male admirers is what I call the eroticist. You might even term these men as sexual fanatics. *Laugh* Simply stated - they love just about everything that adds zing to a sexual encounter.
Trans-females represent some pretty unique real estate. If variety's the spice of life, these gals can serve up the whole pantry of sexual flavoring.
Most of these men exhibit some bisexual tendencies but prefer female lovers. Notably, they're often very oral with women in their lovemaking. These individuals are usually not seeking any sort of long term trans-relationships. In fact, they typically get bored with one girl very quickly - as variety's a big part of their satisfaction.
Intermediate & Advanced Male Admirers
While almost every beginner is first drawn to transgenders on a purely sexual plane, some men develop a much deeper connection. Continued real-time experience is the most common precursor to this evolution. The man who continues to be drawn to the transgender lifestyle after having already explored his earliest trans-fantasies comes to know the person beneath all that make-up. During that process? This man discovers something special - about himself.
Within this realm of more experienced admirers, you'll usually find a couple of camps:
- Tranny Chasers
- The Serial First-Timer
- The eroticist plus
- The transgender partner
Experienced Tranny Chasers
Experienced tranny chasers have been a big part of the admirer community for as long as any of us can recall. These guys are all about NSA (no strings attached) fun with transsexual women. That’s not to say they don’t want to develop a friendship & most certainly keep up with valid phone numbers for the next time that have a trans-craving - but they’re not looking for any sort of relationship of the heart.
Many have been doing this for lots of years - often because they’re married.
The Serial First-Timer
Experienced transsexual admirer’s learn some transsexual women prefer a guy whose never before dated a transgender. Thus, some of them create a fictional story about this “being their first time” with every new transsexual they meet. They leverage their prior experience - telling her what they think she probably wants to hear.
The problem with this approach? If you ever meet a gal you really like she’ll eventually discover your game - and that will end the connection. Trans-world is a relatively small universe. It’s hard for a secret to stay secret - for very long.
The Eroticist Plus
The second type of advanced admirer is what I call the eroticist plus. These men are first attracted to the erotic nature of a trans-female but in that process find themselves with a more formidable devotion to transgender relationships.
Notably, these men are often highly independent thinkers: they needn't read the ingredients on a box of cereal to determine if they like its taste.
Because they're more experienced in transgender relations, they'll often form a long-term and special bond with one or more trans-women. Alas, they're usually not interested in a totally devoted union since their core basis is still primarily eroticism. Circumstances can also inhibit their degree of commitment. They might be already married or face severe limitations upon their lifestyle.
I'd venture to guess these men are nature's equivalent to the growing number of more experienced part-time gals in the trans-community. As the number of these t-girls continues to grow, so does some of their sexual palettes - including a desire for masculine male lovers.
The Transgender Partner
The world's pretty much in agreement that for every action in our universe, there's an equal and opposite reaction. In my opinion, the transgender partner - represents the masculine equivalent to the male-to-female transsexual. They usually began their attraction based upon sexual leanings. However, almost immediately these men move beyond that realm. Like their transgender brethren they first resisted their urges, then mustered the courage to fully explore their desires, then subsequently languished over them, studied them & thoroughly contemplated them.
In the end?
They come to realize: they're stuck with this wiring.
As with their transsexual equivalents, there's wide variety in terms of how far they'll actually go towards making these preferences mesh into their everyday life. Lots of factors influence these decisions & how quickly they occur, including:
- • Geography - affects the sheer number of available transgender dating opportunities
- • Generational - younger men are less likely to be overly stressed by associated societal influences
- • Family Issues - both the impact of nearby relatives and / or if the admirer has young children
- • Career - men in careers that would most likely be negatively affected by disclosure.
Notably, it appears the number of transgender partners is growing in almost direct proportion to the number of full-time transsexual women. It'll take time for the process of effectively connecting with ideal partners to improve. However, the natural evolution by both components as a result of heightened connectivity & awareness from the internet is worth noting.
Which Transsexual Admirer are You?
Many of you probably associate with more than one of these classifications depending upon your mood at the time. However, I think it's important to be honest about which category most resembles your desires and leanings. You needn't disclose it to anyone, but your degree of honesty will exponentially increase your likelihood of pleasure. I assume that's why you're reading this section in the first place.
Why's it so important to determine where you are? Each group tends to have different desires in a t-relationship than the other - both personally and sexually. These unique desires equate to different types of t-girls that are most compatible with your wishes.
Only you know what you really feel. Thus, lying about those desires to yourself will cost you dearly in the pleasure department.
Part of the challenge in finding a quality transsexual is that you've got tough competition, namely - genetic females and other trans-girls. Alas, most trans-girls are first attracted to women, then other transsexuals. Many are not interested in a sexual relationship of any sort with a masculine man.
So...if you're ready to embrace these bad odds, ready to endure lots of rejection, ready to do some things you might even regret...then read on to the next sections: I'll share everything I know.