Almost every transgender woman found herself attracted to another transgender at least once during her evolution. For many? This is the preferred-choice - in terms of both intimate & relationship partners. The reasons behind this attraction are often deep rooted. The shared experiences of transition plus inherent comfort that your partner understands inherent shortcomings can create a powerful bond.
Additional chapters Included in This Section Include:
Natural Women Attracted to Transsexuals
Lesbian Women Attracted to Transsexuals
Women Who First Fell in Love with the Man Before Transition
Problems for Women Dating Transsexual
Trans Love Concerns: Will She End Up Wanting a Man?
Transgender Lesbians: Trans Women with Trans Women
Transgender-Transgender love relationships continue to exemplify some of the healthiest loving unions in the transsexual community.
When it works? It tends to work very well.
A unique and dynamic aspect of these pairings is they can evolve to include four bonded personas. Sometimes? It’s two girls together. Other times? They draw upon old male experiences to bond on a particular project or adventure. Also, you have where one absorbs the prior masculine role with the other wholly in her new femme presence, and vice-versa. The hand-off between these experiences and roles is usually done without thought or plan by compatible transsexuals - it’s just a unique gift afforded this sometimes extraordinary love.
Optional Transgender Love Connections
A Crossdresser with another crossdresser
Compatible crossdressers often form strong emotional and sexual connections with certain other crossdressers. If they find each other physically appealing? There’s a lot of shared interest to explore.
This allure is rooted in years of contempt for a male existence - unwanted body hair, masculine features & garb, etc. Intimacy with another cross dresser represents a sexual celebration of sorts - releasing years of gender bondage.
Additionally, while cross dressers usually continue to be primarily drawn to genetic women, the girl within their soul tends to relish the idea of certain anatomical male features with her female partner. I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about. *Laugh*
These unions rarely result in marriage but often represent bonds of love.
A Transsexual with a Crossdresser
Most cross dressers prefer transsexual porn images early in their evolution: they relate to these scenes. Thus, it’s only natural they would desire a creature similar to the one they shared so many private fantasies.
However, you don’t find many full-time transsexual women willing to date a cross dresser. Their hesitation is rooted in a variety of issues, including: it “outs” them at all their favorite social haunts, they don’t want to have to potentially go through transition with this person at a later date (nobody wants to go through that journey more than once), and they’re sick of talking about “trans stuff” - often a crossdresser’s favorite subject.
A Transsexual Woman with a Transsexual Man
A recent phenomenon of successful loving relationships in the transgender community is found in the ultimate ying-yang combo: transgender females with transgender men.
For the trans-girl, a crucial element of success in this regard is a natural attraction to men.
There’s a rather fascinating aspect to this union that’s often ignored in that both parties are in an ideal position to help their partner become more successful in their preferred gender because of their prior experience in their born gender. As a general rule: “Men learn to be men from men & women learn to be women from women”. Transgender people are often left to their own devices to learn all the nuances of their new gender in the absence of a mentor. Of course, sharing such helpful insights in a loving relationship is tricky & convoluted by potential conflicts when helpful suggestions are interpreted as criticism.
A Transsexual Woman with Another Transsexual Woman
The most common long term trans-lesbian connections occur between two transsexual women. There tends to be two common variations on this love: the early stage and later stage unions.
Later Stage Transsexual Woman with Later Stage Transsexual Woman
For a pair of long-since full-time transsexual women, attraction is often rooted in a heightened sense of understanding & compassion. Another experienced, compatible transsexual offers less drama in the most basic of relationship prerequisites - love me, as I am.
The most challenging aspect to start such a connection seems to be finding someone geographically desirable who you also consider physically and emotionally appealing.
Early Stage Transsexual with Early Stage Transsexual
Some of the most successful long term love relationships I witnessed in the trans-community were born from two early stage transsexuals falling in love and going through the balance of their transition together.
This union is akin to traditional young couples getting married - both with lots of “growing up” to do but with lots of shared dreams.
Problems with Transgender-Transgender Relationships
Along with the typical issues any couple faces in developing a healthy love union such as monogamy, constructive communication and romantic attentiveness, Transgender-Transgender love often faces additional hurdles for bliss, including:
“Where at” in transition
According to several of my girlfriends who prefer to date other transsexual women, the hardest part seems to be finding someone similarly evolved that they also find appealing. In other words? Are they past the drama of being transsexual? According to the women I interviewed, nothing’s more of a turn-off to a fully evolved transsexual woman than talking to an earlier stage transsexual whose still insecure with her life, passing - and whose still talking “trans-trans” stuff every five minutes. Thus, it’s safe to say few early stage transition trans-women end up with more fully evolved trans-women.
We’re often damaged goods
Dealing with transgenderism throughout ones life often creates lots of negative emotional outcomes. A brutal transition only exasperates these outcomes. Finding someone sans an overdose of detachment issues, emotional outbursts, narcissism or related insecurities - is difficult.
Amongst the most successful couples I interviewed - each worked hard to repair themselves before finding love - then committed to grow and improve together.
Traditional Gender Role Conflicts
Sometimes, two transgender ladies possess all the core fundamentals for a solid relationship but struggle sharing feminine accolades & roles in they're loving union.
Who holds open the door? Who is most often in the traditionally female role when it comes to sex? If these needs are in conflict? The relationship is often doomed from the start. Ideally, each partner is naturally comfortable in certain roles and the couple learns to share the rest equally.
Continued Transgender “Community” Involvement
Sometimes seemingly ideal transgender-transgender relationships hit an impasse over one partner’s desire to remain heavily involved & visible within transgender causes & issues while another has reached a point where they want that part of their life minimized.
Like any other life / love issue: this is resolved through fair negotiation.